Chapter 60 – It makes a wager

Chapter 60 – It makes a wager

"Thia, how do you even afford anything?"

"It's summoner provides It with Everything that It needs."

"Your dad still gives you an allowance?"

"Correct."

"Oh my god, Thia. You can't just sponge off of your dad forever."

"Correct. It's summoner only has Terms to give Everything to It until It's summoner has left the world, not for Forever."

"Wow, that’s... just his entire life. Thia, how about getting a job? I feel bad for your dad."

"It already has a job."

"I meant a better paying one. Being an internet moderator doesn’t really pay all that much, right?"

"The myriad realms and all those within—both mortal and Divine—would suffer greatly without It’s Arbitration of Terms."

"But you don’t get anything out of it! Isn’t that unfair to you? Wouldn’t it be better to find something more rewarding?"

"It has no need for reward. It seeks only Divinity through Overall Benefit."

"There’s really nothing else you want to do?"

"It's summoner stated that It did not have to do anything as long as It remained in the world."

"Thia..."

"It senses reproach from It’s Wife."

"What the fluffleducks! Of course I'm going to lecture you. It's not fair to your dad to make him keep working and sending you money. Dad’s getting old, you know? His body’s not going to be able to keep up with that much longer, Thia. Why don't we find you something to do? In legal, maybe? Take some of the load off of dad’s shoulders."

"It refuses."

"Can I ask why?"

"It allows the question."

"..."

". . ."

"..." Amy sighed. "Okay. That was my bad. So, why?"

"It is of Overall Benefit for It to not work or accumulate mortal possessions."

"Thia..."

"It proposes a wager."

"...Alright. What's the wager?"

"Wager: It will provide immutable proof that there is Overall Benefit for It to not acquire funds of It's own. Bid: Amy will not ask It to work in the mortal world."

"Okay, and counterbid: if you can't give me proof, you'll start looking for a paying job, right?"

"It agrees. The Bid and the Wager are Just."

"Oh wait. One more thing, how long is this wager going to last for?"

"It will complete the wager within one mortal day."

♢♢♢

"It grants Clarity."

Dad: "Hey, kiddo. Thanks for calling. Dad’s always happy to hear from you."

"It greets It’s summoner."

Dad: "...What’s wrong, Thia? It sounds like something’s on your mind."

. "How did It’s summoner know It was conflicted?"

Dad: "Because you’re my daughter and I know everything about you."

"It finds this hard to refute."

Dad: "So what’s up? Did you hit somebody with a car? Do you need dad to hide the body? I'll come over with the living room rug right now."

"It did not."

Dad: "..."

". . ."

Dad: "What’s wrong, kiddo? It’s not like my Thia to hesitate so much. It’s okay. You can tell dad anything. Dad will always be on your side, no matter what it is."

"It reports that It has sufficient funds. It does not need It’s summoner to send It allowance any more."

Dad: "...Oh."

". . ."

Dad: "...Well, I guess Thia’s all grown up now... so it makes sense that you want to... start being more independent..."

"Correct."

Dad: "...So you really don’t need dad’s help any more?"

"Correct."

Dad: "...Okay, kiddo. I support your decision. But let me know if you ever need anything, okay? Dad will always be there for you, no matter what happens. So if you ever change your mind, just send dad a call or a text or drop by whenever you want. Dad’s always going to be here for you."

Amy: "Sorry, dad. I was just thinking... that Thia should start looking for a job so that she wouldn't have to burden you. Especially with your retirement coming up and all that. I thought money might be getting tight."

Dad: "That’s alright, Amy. Dad appreciates that you were thinking about him. You know... you two are adults now and you're living your own lives. Dad’s only ever wanted what's best for your happiness, no matter what that is. So if that means that dad needs to take a step back and give you room to grow and stand on your own, then dad will support you with that, too."

"It thanks It’s summoner. It will mute the phone now."

Dad: "Okay, talk soon."

Amy: ("Oh my god, Thia. I'm going to cry. He's so sweet, can I have him?")

("It refuses. Amy cannot have a second wife.")

Amy: "..."

("It provides immutable proof that It getting a job provides Overall Harm. Does Amy agree?")

Amy: ("...Yeah. Sorry about that. I feel really bad now. I didn’t think dad would be so upset about it.")

("Understood. It will now console It's summoner.")

Dad: "Thia?"

"How did It’s summoner know that It unmuted the phone?"

Dad: "Because you're my daughter and I know everything about you. Even how you unmute the phone."

"It has no rebuttal."

Dad: "So what did you two decide?"

"It requests that It's summoner continue to send It a monthly allowance."

Dad: "Got it. Thanks for letting me help out, kiddo. Being able to lend a hand to my daughters makes dad the happiest in the world. Even if they’re all grown up and can already do everything by themselves, it makes dad feel like he's still useful to you. And... using that money... it helps feel like mom is taking care of you, too."

"It is grateful to It’s summoner. In return, It will visit It's summoner with Amy every week to cook dinner."

Dad: "Wow... a sacred holiday. A new sacred holiday every week. Let me know when, and dad will mark his calendar and clear his schedule for life."

"Understood. It will visit every Saturday at 6 P.M."

Dad: "Great! Dad’s going to look forward to it every single week."

"It warns: It will not permit food scraps to be kept in The Shrine. It's meal will be consumed at dinner time or saved as leftovers to be consumed within three mortal days. Otherwise It will not cook another meal for It's summoner."

Dad: "Okay, okay. Gotcha. Dad agrees to the terms. He won't secretly keep any more wishbones in The Shrine as lucky heirlooms."

"It will see It's summoner on Saturday at 6 P.M."

Dad: "Dad's really looking forward to it. I’ll see you then. Love you, Thia."

"It accepts the Premise. Continue."

Dad: "On the weekend."

♢♢♢

Amy: "Hah... Okay you win. It’s your complete win. It is absolutely Overall Beneficial for you to not work for money. Also, I feel like butts now. Poor dad... he was so upset."

"The wager is complete. It will now cook dinner for Amy. It retracts Clarity."

"Huh? W-w-wha? Ha? Where did this come from?"

"The events of today have caused Overall Harm for all those involved. It will now Create more Overall Benefit, starting with dinner."

"Oh my god. Thia cooking? I love you. New milestone get. Thia cooking... Thia cooking. This is going straight to the Thia Collection Log."

"It recalls that Amy disdained The Shrine for collecting unnecessary fragments of memory."

"This is this. That is that. I need to keep memories of all the different Thia milestones forever."

"Forever is too long for Anything to be preserved."

"My love for you is forever."

. . . "It accepts the premise. Continue."

"For eternity."