Chapter 58 – It has a job

Chapter 58 – It has a job

"Okay, Thia. What actually is your job?"

"It’s primary job is Arbitration for the Terms created within the myriad realms. It's secondary job is Law."

"But I never see you leave the house. Is this all remote work or something?"

"Correct. It currently has limited omnipresence because It is bound to the mortal plane by the Terms of It’s summoner. Thus, It only responds to Terms which directly call for It, or Terms set within the realms and Domains of the Divine which It can access remotely."

"So you’re basically an internet moderator?"

"Clarify: Internet is the name for the collective realms of Divinity and Beings of Power across all dimensions?"

"I mean, that’s a bit superlative... but yeah, basically."

"Understood. Then It's job is Internet Moderator."

"Hm. Sounds really busy."

"Even with reduced workload due to mortal confinement, It is constantly beset with Terms to preside over."

"Yeah, that sounds tough. There's like a bajillion things on the internet. I can't imagine having to moderate all of it. You know, I’ve never really thought about it... I kind of just took it for granted, but I guess there had to be someone doing the moderation, though."

"It confirms. The scale of Time in the mortal plane is the slowest of all realms. Thus, It must Arbitrate a great many Terms within a short frame of Time."

"Hm. Who knew..."

"Terms of great importance are rarely set, but there are a great many realms across existence, and much Time passes in the realms of the Divine over the span of one mortal day. Thus, Terms that require It's Arbitration must be dealt with often despite their rarity."

"Oh, yeah. When you consider the whole world, there must be tons of new websites made every day, huh?"

"Correct. Confined to the mortal plane with requests for Arbitration from the myriad realms funneled towards It at their faster scales of Time, It is beset by a constant trickle of Terms that It must preside over. It's Time is pressured while It remains in the mortal plane, but the Tasks and Arbitration are still achievable so long as It occasionally retreats into It's Domain. Similar to Santa."

"Wow, yeah. Every kid loves presents, but nobody thinks about how hard Santa’s workshop must be working to get all those toys ready. And the internet, too. I just kind of take it at face value that there won't be anything too illegal there. But obviously there's people keeping things clean."

"Mostly correct. It clarifies: the Mythos of Santa weakens year by year as the Spirit of Christmas is parasitized and subsumed by the Spirit of Consumption. The workload of Santa's workshop has been reduced with outsourced production, but the strength of Santa’s Mythos has also been reduced as Consequence. That is the Price that Santa has paid for his Ask."

"Yikes. That's pretty grim, Thia."

"It confirms."

"My poor baby... you better not end up like Santa. I won't let you be eaten up by overwork and capitalism. You're a huge softie and a turbo introvert, so remember to take time for yourself after dealing with all this work, okay? Don't let your bosses work you too hard. You deserve to get all the rest and recharge that you need. You got that?"

"Understood. It will now recharge It's Amymeter."

"Bwah?"

"Charging. Charging. Charging. It is fully charged."

"Squee."

"Amy's soul is properly housed."

"That was so cute. Since when did you have an Amymeter?"

"Since It became Amy’s Wife."

"Cute. I'll make sure never to let your Amymeter get too low, then."

"It accepts the premise. Continue."

"Are you busy now?"

"It is not."

"Then... don't mind me. Your wife is just going to make sure that your Amymeter is triple quadruple overcharged just in case."

"It accepts the premise. Continue."

"Transferring short-range Amybeams. Charging. Charging. Charging. Hope all your work stress melts away."

"It has long become accustomed to such work. In a blink, It's mortal coil will unravel and It will have Infinite Time to spend with Amy over the course of Forever. It's current working hours are trivial in comparison. But It still enjoys Amy’s care."

"My wife is so dangerous when she wants to be. Every once in a while, you just completely slay me at random."

"It has never killed Amy."

"You stop my heart all the time, Thia. Every day, you give me a thousand tiny deaths... but you bring me back each time with the power of love. And the power of being a Cutie McScootie."

"It accepts the premise. Continue."

"After I finish charging your Amymeter."