Chapter 56 - It meets Mom
Chapter 56 – It meets Mom
“Hi, Other Thia! Oh no, I hope that wasn't rude... Can I call you that? Or actually... what should I call you? Big Thia? Second Thia? Sorry... I'm so nervous. I always ramble when I'm nervous. But I just really wanted to thank you for keeping dad company this entire time, and for bringing me and Thia back together, and for being my daughter—well I guess you're not really my daughter. Ah! Wait, that's not what I meant. What I meant was that I'd like you to be my daughter... but we haven't really talked about it yet... and you don't know me all that well... but I think it would be nice. Confession! I’ve actually kind of been watching you this whole time. Not in a creepy way! Just in the ‘I’m dead so I get to watch every moment of your life’ kind of way. So... even though we haven’t really talked before, and you probably don’t know me... I feel like I’ve watched you grow up for your whole life. And you're so much like Thia! And dad loves you, and Amy loves you, and I just feel like it'd be perfect to have you in the family. I mean, you're already in the family! Don't get me wrong. You're absolutely already family. It's just that we haven't officially met yet... so I don't feel like I can be your mother—not that I don't want to! It's just... that I'm not confident that you'd want to be my daughter because we're strangers—Ah! Not that I think that you're a stranger. I actually feel really close to you, in fact, even though this is our first meeting. Probably because I’ve been watching you. In a motherly way! And I'm really sorry... this is such a terrible first meeting. But if you don't hate the thought, could I be your mom? And could we get to know each other better? I want to make up for all the years of lost time when I couldn't be there for you. If that's okay.”
“. . .”
"...I'm sorry. I really wanted you to like me.”
“Mom can call It ‘Other Thia’. It has known many names. It is commonly called Thia in the mortal plane, but any of the names Mom has suggested are acceptable. It is not bothered. It accepts the premise. Continue.”
“Thia Bee!”
“It prefers not to be touched.”
“Sorry. Reflex. I was just so happy that you called me mom that my Thia senses started tingling. You're really so alike, you and Thia. Which I guess makes sense since you're both Thia. By the way, is it okay if I call you Thia Bee? I think it's a cute way to tell you two apart. Like A and B. But like, ‘Bee’. The bug. Bzzz. Well, I mostly mean telling you apart by name. Physically, obviously you're bigger—ah! Not that you're fat. That's not what I meant. You're very healthy. It's just that you're all grown up compared to Thia, who is still Thia-sized. Not that it's a contest or anything. It's just that you're different. In a good way! There's nothing wrong with being different! Actually, being different is a good thing. If everyone were the same, then life would be so boring. Anyways, that's all to say that I was really happy to hear you call me mom. So thanks a honey bunch, Thia Bee! Bzz. Bzz.”
“It is not offended. It accepts the name Thia Bee. Understood. It accepts the premise. Continue.”
“Do you really see me as your mom?”
“Correct. Shortly after It's arrival, It’s summoner defined Mom as Mom, and said that Mom is important to It.”
“Aww! Do you really mean it? Can I give you a hug? I'm so super duper happy that you're willing to be my daughter and call me mom! Good work, dad! You're such a sweetheart. You too, Thia Bee! Let's go have a month long talk. Tell mom everything. Who confessed first? When did you fall for Amy? What was it like going to school as a Concept? Were your grades good? Did you have a lot of friends? What do you do now? Are you two—”
“Shh, dear, it's okay. Slow down, slow down. Dad thinks you're going to receive a max strength Thia barrage if you keep asking so many questions in a row.”
"...Mackaly..."
“It relents. Understood. One month is too long for It to visit at the moment. After It’s mortal coil has expired, It can visit Mom freely. Amy confessed to It first. It does not know. It learned much about It's Self at School. It’s grades were of the highest standard. It had several friends. It currently Arbitrates select Terms of importance for the myriad realms.”
“Wow! Is that the fabled Thia barrage? Your memory is so good! You really responded to everything in order! Mom’s really impressed. That must be great for having arguments. I'm jealous. You’ll have to teach me that at some point, so I can keep the lead against Mackaly—er, against dad. Next time I'll ask my questions one at a time, though. My memory actually isn't that great... It's not that I don't care about what you said—I do! I swear. It's just that I’m a little bit stupid sometimes, so I kind of forgot the order of the questions I asked. But next time I'll do better, because I really do want to know more about you!”
“Correct. Understood.”
“Aww! You’re so precious! I'm really happy to have you in the family! Thanks for bringing us all back together again. I'm really grateful to you, and I really look forward to seeing you when you have the time—Ah! Not that I want you to die. Well, I do want to see you more, but you said that you could only do that after dying, right? Uh oh. Knock on wood. Don't do that. Stay healthy, please. I want you to live the longest, happiest life you can live. But I also want to talk to you, too. It’s just... oh, this is such bad luck for a wedding. I'm going to stop talking now.”
“It is amused.”
“Oh gosh, I’m so bad at this... Thanks for not being offended. The wrong things always just burst out of my mouth, and I always make people mad, but I swear I don't mean to be rude! Anyways... I'm just really happy to have you and Amy in the family. So come visit whenever you get the chance—ugh. I keep doing that. I mean, don't visit. Wait. I didn't mean it like that either, that sounded rude, too. I want you to live a long time. But don't die. Unless you want to—Ah! No, just don't die until the time is right. And hopefully the right time is a long ways away. And then we can catch up, okay? Mom will be waiting for you. Oh gosh, that sounds like I'm waiting for you to die. I'm not! I just want to be closer with you..."
“Understood. It will visit Mom when It has Time.”
“Thanks, Thia Bee. Mom loves you! I'll be watching over you! Not in the creepy way. Just in the nice, protective way so you feel like you're safe. Like a guardian angel watching over you, but without the thousands of eyes, or the flaming swords. Just in the regular motherly way.”
“Understood. It accepts the premise. It will now leave so that Mom may speak with It’s summoner. It bids farewell.”
“Bye, Thia Bee! Talk soon. Or not soon, actually. Don’t die. I keep forgetting that talking equals dying. Uh. Talk soon, but asterisk: soon means after living a long, full life filled with all the happiness in the world. Nailed it. That was pretty good, right, Mackaly?”
"...You're still such a goose.”
“Hjonk.”
"..."
"..."
"...I've missed you so... so much, you goose.”
"...Me too, Macky.”
"..."
“Love you.”
“Love you more.”
“Love you out the kitchen door.”
“The underworld has a kitchen? And doors? Not bad.”
“We even have a garden! You should visit sometime.”
“That sounds like it’d really be to die for.”
“Hehe. I guess I’ll just have to keep waiting for the next family reunion, then. Should just be a few more years, right? Can’t wait!”
“In the whole wide world, only my Goosey could say something so ominous with so much love and care behind it.”
“It would be sweet! We could all finally be together again as one big happy undead family!”
“That would be nice, wouldn't it..."
“Yup! Till death don’t us part.”
“You’re such a goose.”
“Hjonks in undeath.”
“Love you.”
“Hjonk.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Want to see my new necromomicon?”
“Lucy, this is our daughters’ wedding. You’re crazy.”
“I’m your crazy.”
“Hah...”
“...”
“Alright. Let’s see it.”
“Hehe.”