Chapter 64 – It cannot be here
Chapter 64 – It cannot be here
Unopened Thermos. Casket. It’s summoner. Grey. Clergy. Words of Blessing. Family. Articles of Power. Friends. Faces of sadness. Black clothes. Dark bags. Amy. Hand. Touches of comfort. Warmth. Tears. Condolences. Farewell.
Shovels. Dirt. Unopened Thermos. Lowered coffin. It’s summoner in the grave.
Handfuls of memory. Dirt in the grave. Thermos in the grave. Term in the grave. Tears in the grave.
It watches as the last trace of It’s summoner is covered by earth.
It’s Term with It’s summoner is complete. It is no longer bound to the mortal plane. It leaves.
It visits Home with Amy.
It sees Dad’s calendar by the kitchen table. Circles over every Saturday.
It empties the fridge.
It’s room is clean but untouched. Everything is as It left them.
It cleans Dad’s room. It leaves Everything as Dad left them.
The Shrine.
Baby clothes. Shoes. Old hats. Snorkel. First book. Hair brush. Uniform. Report cards. Law books. Art. Legislation. Projects. Essays. Accusations. Disciplinary notice. Resolution. Paper clippings. Wishbones that should have been thrown away.
“Oh wow, dad really kept everything.”
“It confirms.”
“Whoa, when did this happen? The school accused you of cheating on your assignments? Why didn’t I ever hear about that?”
“Correct. The accusations occurred when Thia was in 5th grade. Amy did not know because Thia and Dad did not consider the event important. Thia received detention for one day before the situation was resolved.”
“Oh. Well it sucks that you were falsely accused like that. In 5th grade? What’s even the point of that? It’s just straight up bullying.”
“It posits: that which exists beyond mortal comprehension is the first to be ostracized.”
“That still sucks… school sucks. I’m sorry you had to go through that…”
“It is not bothered.”
♢♢♢
Lipstick. Makeup. Hair pins. Prom dress. Gloves. Brooch. Wedding dress. Promise rings. Speeches. Recordings.
“Wow… these are such beautiful memories. Dad kept everything so perfectly.”
“It agrees.”
“He really was just the best dad in the world, wasn’t he?”
“It confirms.”
♢♢♢
Box of old calendars. No special marks aside from events with Thia, It, and Amy.
Double daughter field trip. Pack extra snacks!
Book fair. Don’t forget your spending money.
School play! Good luck!
Art show. Dad gives you both a 10.
Celebration dinner. Amy’s poem got first prize!
…
..
.
Thia praised dad for the first time (no audio recording)
Prom night. Dad: practice hair and makeup. Thia: don’t forget mom’s brooch and gloves!
Graduation day. They grow up so fast!
Amy leaves for university. Bring tape, boxes, and the U-Haul!
Thia’s first video call. Let’s get her a laptop after.
Amy moves in. Upstairs is now the forbidden zone. Do not enter without permission.
First book signing! Remember to bring Thia early so she can prepare.
Double daughter moving out day. So proud of you. Good luck!
Wedding day. So soon! Gotta get everything ready. Don’t forget the speech! Also, why Chicago?
…
..
.
Thia cooked dinner?! I’m the happiest dad in the world.
Saturday Dinner.
Saturday Dinner.
Saturday Dinner.
Saturday Dinner.
…
..
.
Pictures of Thia throughout her life. Pictures with Mom and Dad. Then with Amy, too. Then with It, and without Thia and Mom.
“Oh, look at this! Do you remember the first playdate we had at this house?”
“It does not.”
“Yeah, I guess it was really long ago, huh? Almost 40 years now. At that time, I guess that must have been… Well anyway. I still remember it perfectly, though. You were so weird.” Amy laughed. “You’re still my loveable little weirdo. But for a kid, she was… completely out there. You got me to sit there with you for hours with no TV, no games, no music, no nothing. Just a dictionary to help you look things up while you read me legal documents. Worst playdate ever.”
“It considers acquiring knowledge to be of Overall Benefit.”
“That’s pretty much what she said back then, too. I had to study really hard because of you. Maybe that’s why I can word good now. My best friend buried me in dictionaries since I was young. How cruel is that?”
“It will not apologize for Thia improving It’s Wife.”
Amy pecked It on the cheek. “Nor will I ask you to, o’ Thia, my muse eternal.”
More pictures. Matching hats and gloves (x100). School. Aquarium. Zoo. Home. Park. Cooking. Playing. Relaxing. Smiling. Laughing. Frowning. Strawberries. Teasing. Hugging. Holding. Loving. Graduation. Moving in.
“I love this one. When you dropped your spaghetti. I’ve never seen anybody actually spill an entire spaghetti before. It was the first time I’d ever seen you so look so shocked! It was like a cartoon, almost. Me and dad talked about it all the time.”
“It’s face is unchanging.”
“Poor baby, you froze for a full three seconds without breathing or moving a single muscle. I’d never ever seen you do that before, or ever since. It’s one of my most precious memories. When did dad even take this photo? I didn’t notice it at all back then. What a quickdraw.”
“It also did not notice.”
“Well, that’s dad for you. He was always supernaturally good at anything that involved his daughter.”
“It has no rebuttal.”
“Oh! Remember that time we went to the aquarium and you got pooped on by a stingray?”
“It remembers.”
“The look on everyone’s face! Who knew that such a cute little guy could actually shart so explosively!”
“It found that warmth to be unpleasant, and not of Overall Benefit.”
“Hahahahaha, it was such a great moment. Probably the highlight of a ton of kid’s lives. Definitely a highlight in mine. How many other people can say that they’ve witnessed a live, handheld stingray sharting?”
“. . .”
Photos with just It and Amy. Occasionally Dad. Few and far between. Plane ride. Comedy club. Book signing. Moving out.
“Oh look, there’s our prom photos! We were so cute.”
“. . .”
“And there’s us going on our first plane ride! Dad was so nervous! Do you remember how many times we had to go over the itinerary and octuple check our luggage and boarding info? He was so worried.”
“. . .”
“Yikes. That time at the comedy club. What a bomb.”
“. . .”
“Ahhh! Not the beret photo! It’s so cringey. Flip the page, flip the page.”
“. . .”
“Oh! Dad had a photo of your calligraphy, too? I thought that was one of the things I had in the Thia Collection Log that dad didn’t. I guess you showed it to dad first, huh?”
“. . .”
“Hahaha, and here I thought that when you said you would cook dinner for me that it would be three Michelin stars on the first try. I thought that would be a totally normal Thia thing to expect… but turns out it was a complete disaster. Hahahaha you made such a mess.”
“. . .”
“Love you.”
“. . .”
“And… cooking at dad’s… for the first time…”
“. . .”
“I… guess we won’t… won’t be doing that… any more… huh?”
“. . .”
Aging. Dinner. Years pass. Gray. Empty page—
“…Oh yeah… I guess we should… add these too. Hey, dad…? Would it… Would it be okay… to add these? It’s… your Shrine… but… since you’re… not here…”
“. . .”
—Hospital. Funeral.
Empty page. Empty page. Empty page. Empty page. Empty page…
…
..
.
“…Thia? How’re you holding up? You haven’t said anything in a while. Are you okay?”
. . . “This is a place of Power.”
A Shrine made to preserve all things Thia. Memories of Thia. Hope for Thia. Love for Thia. A Shrine to preserve Everything about Thia, Daughter of Dad, who was long dead.
Thia, whose place It stole. Thia, whose life It lived.
“Well, yeah. Obviously. This is where dad stored all of his love for you. He said he wanted a place where you could come back to one day and look through a lifetime of precious memories to see just how much you’ve grown. And how much dad has cared about you all this time. How he’s always kept you first place in his heart. And how he’s never stopped thinking about you, even when you were all grown up. He really loved you the most in the whole wide world, you know? He… he was such a good dad.”
“. . .”
“Thia?”
Altar of Power. Photo of It. Leatherbound book. Terms. Every Term ever made with Thia. Every Term ever made with It. Completed Terms crossed out. Empty page. Empty page. Empty page. Empty page…
…
..
.
Empty page.
Final page. A Term.
Task: Thia will remain with dad until dad is no longer in this world.
Price: dad’s everything
Update!
Task: Thia will live a fulfilling life until dad is no longer in this world, and keep living her best life even after dad’s gone.
Price: dad’s everything
Folded parchment. A letter for It.
Guilt. Sadness. Pain. Grief. Loss.
“. . .”
“…Thia? Thia! What’s wrong?”
“. . .”
“Thia!? Please talk to me. What is it?”
“It cannot be here.”
“What do you mean? What’s wrong?”
“. . .”
“Thia, please… Let me into your world. Let me share what you’re feeling so you don’t have to do it alone.”
“. . .”
It returns Dad’s letter to the book. It returns Dad’s book to the altar.
“. . .”
“Thia, breathe. Breathe. You have to breathe.”
“It cannot be here.”
“…Is it too much to be around all these memories? Sorry, Thia. I’m so sorry. It’s okay… It’s going to be okay. Let’s go outside, okay? Let’s go outside… and we’ll get a blanket… and we’ll get through this together, okay?”
“It cannot be here. This Shrine was not made for It.”
“No, Thia… it was. It absolutely was. Dad loved you from the bottom of his heart, you sweet bean. He wanted to keep all these memories for you to see. This whole thing… it’s all for you. Dad loved you so, so, so much. His everything was always for you. But it’s okay… It’s okay. We can come back later… or never, if being here hurts too much.”
“It does not deserve The Shrine. It does not deserve Dad’s love. It does not deserve Dad’s Anything. It does not deserve Dad’s Everything.”
“Thia…”
“It is an imposter. It is a lie. It cannot be here.”
“…Sorry, Thia. I’m so sorry… Let’s go outside, okay? Let’s go outside. I’ll be with you the whole time. I’ll never leave your side. It’s going to be okay… It’s going to be okay. Come on… let’s go outside…”
“. . .”
“…Thia?”
“. . .”
“Thia!?”
It left the mortal plane.