Chapter 45 - It plans a wedding
Chapter 45 – It plans a wedding
“Thia, you can’t just propose to someone like that. You’ll give them a heart attack.”
“Understood. It will propose differently next time.”
“Hkkhhhhh. No. No more proposals. I accept. Let’s get married. I accept. No other proposals. One time only. For Amy only. My cherished, wife-only heart attack privilege. Mine. But just once... Just once is enough. No more proposals.”
“Understood.”
“Do you, uh... Have you thought this through?”
“It has.”
“Squee.”
“Amy’s soul is properly housed.”
"...Wait. What about the wedding planning and preparation? Hah... it’s going to be so much work. Planning. Invites. Food. Dress. Venue. Music. Décor. Gah. It’s terrible. I need to refill my Thiameter.”
“It relents.”
“Charging. Charging. Charging. Have you thought about how we should split the workload? Depleting. Depleting. Depleting.”
“It has already settled all the details for the Ceremony of Marriage.”
"...Charging?”
“It clarifies: the Officiator of Amy and It’s Ceremony of Marriage will deal with the planning.”
"...So we don’t have to do anything?”
“It confirms.”
"...So you’re just going to push all of the work onto somebody else?”
“It confirms.”
"...And they’re okay with it?”
“It confirms.”
“Squee.”
“Amy’s soul is properly housed.”
“Huh. But why, though? Wedding planning is some kind of... hellish torment straight from hell. No offense, big guy. What did you have to pay to find someone willing to accept worse-than-slave-labour?”
“It offered Anything within It’s Power.”
“Uh oh.”
“The Officiator used the Anything to request this job.”
"...Hah?”
“It reiterates.”
“Are you sure they agreed to that?”
“It confirms.”
“Are they a masochist?”
“It does not know.”
“Can you... call them first to double check?”
“It wonders why Amy is concerned about the personal inclinations of the Officiator.”
"...What? Thia, I meant double checking if they're willing to do the job.”
“Understood.”
♢♢♢
“Lulu. It calls.”
“Retribution! To what do I owe this grand honour?”
“It and It’s Wife have decided to undergo the Ceremony of Marriage.”
“My sincerest congratulations. I must say I wasn’t expecting to hear such good news so soon. I take it you’re calling to confirm my humble Officiation?”
“Correct.”
“I would, of course, be thrilled to Officiate your Ceremony of Marriage as per our Terms. Thank you for remembering to contact me.”
“It’s Wife requested It to call.”
“Then I extend thanks to the wife of Retribution as well. Is there anything that either of you need of me?”
“Clarify: Lulu will handle all preparations for the Ceremony of Marriage?”
“I would be more than willing to handle any and all preparations for the Ceremony of Marriage. But are you sure that you want me to handle all of the preparations?”
“It will send a list of guests to invite. Each being will be responsible for their own dress. The date must be within five mortal years. All other details will be decided by Lulu.”
“A gesture of Trust that I am truly humbled by. Is there anything else that you need of me?”
“It does not.”
“Then I will contact you again when the details have been finalized. May The Great Dream never end.”
♢♢♢
"...Thia. What the hell... that was so fierce.”
“It accepts the premise. Continue.”
"...Thia Bridezilla. Hah. Wow. The gap is... hah. I've never seen you so assertive before. Wow. Is it getting hot in here? That's crazy. Do you think we have a thermostat ghost or something?”
“It clarifies: the thermostat—”
“I'm not falling for that one again.”
“It relents.”
“I always thought you would be a high femme... but turns out... my wife is kind of stone cold?”
“It does not understand.”
“You'll get it when you're older.”
“It is older than Amy.”
“Anyways. Seriously... I had no idea my gentle Thia—my compassionate ‘lets mosquitos back outside to terrorize the world’ Thia—could be so... tyrannical. Squee.”
“Amy's soul is properly housed. It must be assertive due to the nature of certain Beings of Power.”
“Oh. Pushy family? Yeah, I get it. They can be... yeah.”
“It agrees.”
"...Speaking of family..."
“It does not plan to invite Amy's family.”
"...Thanks, Thia.”
“Does Amy wish for Amy’s family to attend?”
“No. No, no, no, no. Absolutely no way, no how, brown cow, eyebrow. No. You and dad are the only family I have and the only family I need.”
“Understood.”
“Has anybody ever told you that you’re the best wife in the whole entire world?”
“It has been called similar names.”
“Hah? Who was it? I’ll bite them.”
“It will not allow Amy to bite It’s Wife.”
"...As expected of the best wife in the whole entire world.”
“It accepts the premise. Continue.”
“Can I melt into you, o’ tyrannical waifu?”
“Amy lacks the necessary biology for melting.”
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“It relents.”