Ch 46. The Last Meal
The Last Meal had a very fun motif of a grim reaper above a sign made of neon suspended by charged magic rather than tubes and electricity. In fact, almost all of the clubs, bars, and restaurants across the brimstone streets had a similar enchanted signage. It made him feel like he was in Bladerunner which buoyed his mood a little as he pushed his way inside. A demoness hostess was standing waiting as he entered and she smiled with half lidded eyes as she saw him. Her skin was bright pink and her clothes were covered in X’s and O’s.
“I know exactly where you’re supposed to go,” she said in an almost musical voice.
He smiled back at her. “I suppose when you’re told to look out for a human it makes a person easy to pick out.”
“Oh, you’re far from the only human here honey, but you’re certainly the only one with red hair and a suit.”
He chuckled lightly. “That makes sense.”
She gestured with her horns toward the restaurant. “Follow me to the table, and feel free to take in the view as we walk.”
John laughed and shook his head, and he did take in the view, but not the one she intended him to. There was only one demon whose games he chose to play. Past the entryway the restaurant was lit only in soft red, purple, blue, and green flames in each section. The walls were painted black, and there were fires in the center of each table on which meat and vegetables were cooked with skewers. He saw tables of mostly demons, but he also saw a fair mix of Orcs, Goblins, Humans, and even a small group of elves and a solitary minotaur.
At the far corner, lit in blue was Andressa and he felt himself smiling the moment he saw her. She had two friends with her, Grim and Beelz, if he remembered their names correctly. Grim was an incubus with light blue skin and yellow eyes that glowed behind sunglasses. He was wearing a mesh tank top and oversized pants the color of which John couldn’t determine in the lighting of the restaurant. Beelz was less humanoid than Grim and Andressa with black chitin instead of skin and fly like wings on her back that were folded around her neck like a fashionable cape. For some reason the chitin was molded into the form of an attractive woman that would’ve caught his eye even with the mandibles protruding from the side of her mouth.
They were laughing as John arrived and the hostess gestured to the table.
“Here’s your innocent, fresh for the slaughter,” she said as he slid into the booth next to Andressa.
“Oh, I wouldn’t call him innocent,” she said, kissing him on the cheek as he sat down.
“Hey, Andressa. Hi Grim, Beelz. Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” said Grim in a voice with just a tinge of acid to it, though whether it was intentional or his natural demonic inflection John couldn’t tell.
“Good to meet you too,” said Beelz, her voice was actually completely normal. For some reason that surprised him.
Beelz held out a hand that broke its chitin, revealing a kind of writhing mass between her ‘fingers’.
John didn’t hesitate to grab it and shake it even though it felt like sticking his hand into a bowl of roaches. He expected she was playing with him a bit, but he wasn’t exactly new to the strange.
“He’s cute,” said Grim as John settled into his seat.
“Did you expect him to be ugly?” asked Andressa.
“Well, your ex was an imp, so I always question your tastes.”
“I wasn’t even one hundred yet. You can’t blame me for having odd tastes at the time.”
“I can absolutely blame you for dating an imp, no matter your age.”
“Then I’ll judge you for the myriad horny mortals you’ve ravaged.”
“That’s just work sweety. A man’s got to eat.”
“So it’s a job, and how you eat? How does that work?” asked John.
“Well, I seduce men and women to feed on their lust and when they give in to it, they’re giving in to sin which helps to draw their souls down into the hells.” He stretched languidly. “It’s all very complementary.”
“And what do you do?” he asked Beelz.
“I am responsible for tending to the souls that arrive in Hell,” she said simply.
“So… tormenting them?” he asked.
“Mostly. Though sometimes the work is more logistical than anything. Finding what torments work the best for each of them. Less effective tortures draw out their suffering for longer than they should have to endure. More effective ones cleanse the soul more quickly so that it can be returned back to a world blank and pure.”
John frowned. He’d heard multiple reasons for Hells existing, from what she’d just said, to purely for evil purposes, or just as a prison. From what he understood there were a number of hells and it seemed Andressa was from one that was a bit milder than the others.
“What about you?” asked Beelz. “Andressa said that you fix peoples heads?”
“I’m a therapist, so I help people, and others, deal with personal issues. Fears, anxieties, relationship issues. I try to help patients deal with them.”
“Could you give an example?” asked Beelz, with genuine curiosity in her voice.
“I can’t be specific, but I can speak generally about it. I have one patient that is afraid of open skies.”
“And how would you treat him?”
“Well, I exposed him to small bits of the sky. A few minutes in front of a window. Standing in a large open stadium. That kind of thing. Eventually he was able to walk outside without nearly as much trouble, though he still works hard to manage it.”
“I see something similar in my work,” said Beelz, nodding.” Too much of the same torment and a soul grows used to it. They need things to be kept fresh in order to achieve the correct result.”
“And you work for him?” Grim asked Andressa. “Doesn’t his job mean you’ll have less to eat?”
“There’s no shortage of new patients,” replied Andressa with a smile. “He could help a thousand people and two thousand more would walk into the office for me to feed on.”
“Makes it feel hopeless, doesn’t it?” asked Beelz, turning her segmented eyes in his direction.
“No,” replied John. “Because I still would’ve helped a thousand people. That’s worth the effort even if there’s more to do.”
Grim made a gagging noise, and John turned his attention to him.
“Sorry, my throat’s dry. Need something to drink.” He snapped his fingers and a little flash of blue fire played between fingers, signalling a server.
John ordered a slab of some type of bovine meat along with one of the few gin concoctions that wouldn’t cause his insides to melt. Grim and Beelz split an imitation human flesh slab, and Andressa decided on a hellflower salad, drawing looks from her hellborn companions.
“It’s strange what you miss when you’re away from home for long enough.”
The conversations got a bit lighter as they drank and ate, with a number of barbs fired his way from Grim and Beelz, but he had some trouble telling if they were playful or genuine. A common problem when talking with demons. Still he thought he’d comported himself well and was very happy with both the drinks and the food. The hellfire they cooked the meat on seemed to add a unique flavor that John found he really enjoyed.
Once they were done eating, they had a few more drinks before they all left the restaurant, stepping into the comparatively bright lighting outside of it. John was feeling a bit unsteady on his feet, but Andressa, Grim, and Beelz seemed comparatively steady. It made sense, they were made of a bit sterner stuff than he was.
He leaned toward Andressa. “Were you going to stay out longer, or did you want to share a carriage?”
“Let’s share one,” she said with a smile to him, “can you flag one down for us while I say bye?”
He nodded and walked toward the edge of the road watching for carriages and seeing one a ways down the road heading in their direction.
“You both said you’d be on your best behaviour,” said Andressa behind him. She was likely trying to be quiet so that he couldn’t hear her, but the acoustics of Avalon could be strange.
“What? He handled himself well. I was actually very impressed,” replied Beelz.
“Yeah. He’s smarter than a lot of the pets you’ve had in the past.”
“You mentioned an ex immediately when he arrived, ordered human flesh, and don’t think I didn’t notice you doing your hand thing Beelz.”
“You dish it out every day sweety, don’t tell me you can’t handle it,” said Grim.
“I’m sorry Andy,” said Beelz. “It’s hard not to poke at mortals. It’s kind of my whole job.”
“Thank you for apologizing Beelz, and fuck you Grim. I’ll send a message tomorrow while you’re still in Avalon.”
She turned and walked back to John who had just managed to flag down a human carriage driver that looked terrified to be working in Little Hell and was so thrilled to hear John’s destination was far away that he gave him a deal on fare. They climbed in and she leaned against him.
He wasn’t sure of how to broach the fact that he’d heard what she said, so he decided to let it lie. He had noticed that she’d barely teased him all throughout the dinner and it seemed it was because she was busy trying to manage her friends. He didn’t think it had been all that bad, but he appreciated how protective she was being. He gently ran a hand across her face and drew her into a kiss.