Chapter 18: Shattered Promises

Jamila sat in her office. Most of her aides had retired for the evening. Dinner had come and gone, yet she still had paperwork to do before she could see Shani again. Jamila looked toward the clock on the wall. A sigh left her. Seems she was going to miss dinner with her daughter again.

She thought things would settle after fall, but this winter was much harsher than she had expected. Buildings caved in from the constant snow, the channels froze over, and even the waterfall was a chunk of ice. It hadn't been this bad in Gildan since her mother was a child.

Jamila pulled at her hair as she looked over a financial statement. The treasury was really going to hurt. She needed to prepare a letter... a letter. The memory hit her like a stack of bricks. Jamila slammed her forehead against the desk, ignoring the throbbing pain. Shani's hurt face danced in her mind.

I should have read it first...

She groaned as she interlaced her fingers behind her head. A tap caught her attention. Familiar and soft. But it couldn't be that time again. She turned to the tall crystal windows behind her. Her eyes went wide as she took in a very large hawk.

"Tit!" she cursed before she opened the window. The bird flew in and circled the room. How on earth did Skye find her in her office? And why was she here now instead of in the morning? Had something happened back home?

"Skye..." Her voice was low. The bird landed a moment later. A letter in its beak. She retrieved it quickly before the damn bird could fight back. Skye looked around the room and let out a sad coo.

"You would see her if you came to my room instead of my office..." Jamila grumbled as she opened the letter. She shoved her feelings down and read the Sullivian words quickly. She never knew when someone might enter her office. Especially Jaz.

Sorry for contacting you so late, Jam. Shani's birthday is coming up and since it's such an important one... we thought perhaps we could send her a gift. If you are okay with it, we can hide it in the cave for you to pick up. Or as Lucius suggested, chuck it over the wall. Up to you.

With Love,

Quinn.

Jamila's heart sank. She scratched Skye's chin. "I appreciate this... but I will whistle when I have a reply." The bird purred, and then Jamila motioned towards the window. Skye flew out a breath later. Thankfully, as soon as it was outside, it was once more camouflaged. But she knew she was still nearby.

Jamila looked around at the mess of papers scattered all over the office. She groaned and ran a hand down her face. She began to pick them up and place them back on the desk when a knock sounded on her office doors.

Her heart thundered in her chest. She quickly placed the stack of papers on the letter. A moment later, the doors opened and Jaziel peeked his head inside.

"Good evening, Jam. I heard you hadn't eaten yet, so I got you some squash soup," Jaziel said as he walked in with a gilded tray. A bowl with a lid lay on the tray. He approached her, only to pause.

"By the Gods... What happened here?" he asked as his eyes carefully examined the mess. Jamila tried to calm her racing heart.

"The wind blew the window open... it created quite the situation." Her smile was bright, but her pulse still thundered in her veins. It worried her how good she had gotten at lying.

"That's an understatement," Jaziel mumbled as he dropped off the soup. He slowly began to gather all the documents and sort them in their respective piles. Jamila stepped away to help, but froze when Jaziel glared at her.

"Eat," he ordered as he pointed towards the soup on her desk. Jamila glanced between him and the bowl before sighing and sitting at her desk. She opened the lid, and steam rose into the air. The smell of squash and roasted chestnuts filled her nose.

"Thank you, Jaz." She grabbed the spoon and took a spoonful, although she couldn't eat easily. Not with the letter still here. But she was hungry, so she ate as quickly as she could.

Once Jaziel had finished putting the documents on the desk, he collapsed on the couch in the center of the room. She watched him carefully, but it didn't appear he had any plans to leave any time soon. Silence filled the room. Silver clinking against glass was the only sound for a long moment. Jamila sighed as she finished the food.

She pushed the tray away, but Jaziel still did not stir. She knew he wasn't asleep. His breathing was too regular. She couldn't burn the letter until he was gone. But unfortunately, it looked like he was waiting on something. Jamila wanted to run her hand through her waves, but she fought the urge.

"Have you heard from Iselle?"

"Yes... it's unfortunate, but spring will be here before we know it." His tone was dull. Almost bored. After all their years of marriage, there still seemed to be so little warmth between them. It made her upset. She always prayed for her brother's happiness, and although he seemed content, she wasn't sure he was happy.

But it wasn't her place to intervene.

"Yes... I talked to Shani about her birthday today," she said as she read over some documents, trying her best not to let her eyes wander.

"Oh?"

Jamila nodded. "Yes. Thankfully, it will be just you, me, and her this year. So no invites needed!" Her voice perked up, a small smile pulling at her lips. But Jaziel did not reply.

The room fell once more into silence, which unnerved Jamila. She looked up from the document, and Jaziel had moved. He sat upright, a finger resting against the corner of his lip. He looked... concerned.

"Is something the matter?" Jamila asked as she put down the document. Jaz turned to face her.

"It's just that... I don't think that will be possible this year."

Jamila blinked. "What?"

"Well... she's had private birthdays for seven years now," he continued calmly. "I think it's time she was introduced to society."

Jamila's lips formed a tight line. She felt a headache coming on, but she took a deep breath.

"She's only seven," Jamila said. Her tone was still level, thankfully, but there was an edge to it. Jaziel raised a brow and stood to face her.

"She's nearly eight," he replied evenly, "and traditionally, she would have been introduced at three. We are already five years late. Plus, with the town situation and the storms..." He paused.

"Let's just say you currently aren't revered enough. We need to remind people who the heavens are. And it starts with the nobility," he said as he crossed the room and placed a hand over Jamila's clenched fist. Jamila slapped his hand away.

"Fina nobilityl!" Jamila snapped, the words sharp and immediate, her tongue accidentally slipping into Sullivian. Jaziel's eyes narrowed, just slightly.

"I would appreciate it if you spoke a more civilized tongue," he said coolly. Jamila exhaled sharply through her nose, dragging her hands through her hair. One fight at a time.

"Besides... this winter has been costly. We'll have to raise the noble tax, and if we do... they'll expect something in return." He sighed as he sat on her desk and looked over all the documents, many of which were requests for aid. He had probably noticed when he picked them up.

Thankfully, she felt slightly calmer after swearing. As much as it irritated her, he wasn't wrong. They needed those pesky vultures in a good mood in order to help the people. A party would certainly raise their spirits. But she still hated it.

She had stabilized regions, strengthened alliances, and cared for her people in ways their father never had. But none of that mattered to the nobility if they couldn't see it. If they couldn't attend it, control it, judge it. And a royal birthday was the perfect excuse.

A perfect event to gain bragging rights. The nobility would be divided into those invited and those not. It would help set the tone for next year. They would be chomping at the bit to do anything to assist the stars if it meant a possible invitation and another year of bragging rights.

She hated that most about the palace and its aristocrats.

Jamila rested her face in her palms. A wave of anxiety washed over her.

"But I promised Shani—"

"You are not only a mother. You are the moon of this empire. Are you really going to let people suffer over a promise?" His tone was hard. Jamila's head shot up, her eyes widening as tears gathered. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Much shakier than she wanted.

"You're right..." she mumbled. A cocky smile crossed Jaziel's lips.

"Of course I am."

"But... the townspeople saw her... it would be dang—"

"Jamila." Jaziel put his hands on Jamila's shoulders, forcing her to meet his gaze.

"We are the stars and moon. If we say the grass is blue, then the grass is blue." His tone was calm. His eyes were steady. Jamila couldn't help but laugh at that idea.

"You can say anything, but the grass will always be green," she said with a sad smile. Jaziel sighed.

"No, Jam... I will make sure the grass is blue. Trust me," he said quietly. There was almost something dangerous in what he was saying, but perhaps this was the one time she could worry less and let him handle it as he saw fit. Besides... Shani also needed a better standing if she was to ever appear without her bracelet. She needed more power.

And perhaps Jaziel knew better than she did how to give her child that power. Jamila stilled. The words settled in slowly, uncomfortably. Control the narrative. Her gaze drifted, unfocused, as she turned the thought over in her mind. Then Jamila caught sight of the corner of the hidden letter.

Control... the narrative... A smile tugged at her lips.

"Very well," she said at last, her voice peppier despite the headache now pulsing behind her temple. Her eyes softened as she reached forward and cupped Jaziel's face.

"You will protect her... won't you, Jaz?" she asked softly. Jaziel's eyes widened for a breath before he smiled.

"Of course I will... with everything I have."

Jamila pulled her hand away and looked at her twin with a sparkle in her eyes.

"But I will handle the invitations." Her eyes met his, sharp, unyielding. No room for negotiation. Jaziel studied her for a moment, then sighed as a small smile returned to his lips.

He stood and offered a small salute.

"As you wish..."

It was late. The sun was gone, and night had come at last. Jamila walked through a quiet palace toward her room. A yawn escaped her every other step. She didn't care how ragged she looked to the evening staff; she just wanted to crawl into bed. Although... Skye was still waiting. She needed to get the invite ready to go before she could collapse.

She offered a pair of knights a friendly nod. One flushed red, and the other nudged the young man's side. Jamila wanted to roll her eyes, but she simply snuck into her room instead. To her surprise, a candle was still burning, and Shani was lying in bed, bracelet off, but her eyes were wide open. Jamila sighed as she crossed the room and sat at her desk in front of the window.

"You should be asleep." Jamila leaned over and grabbed the latch of the window. Shani sat upright.

"I was..." she mumbled. Jamila peeked back over at her daughter and noticed her red, swollen eyes. Another sigh escaped her.

"Another dream, lovely?"

Shani simply nodded. Jamila opened the window and shivered as a gust of air blew in, bringing the snow with it. Shani looked at Jamila completely befuddled. Jamila ignored her for a second and whistled into the inky void outside. There was nothing at first, just the darkness. Then a quiet flapping sound echoed through the snow, growing closer.

The bird suddenly appeared as it crossed the threshold of the window. Shani gasped, and Skye chirped happily as she circled the room. Jamila shut the window and rubbed her arms, trying to warm herself.

"Mama..." Shani whined. Jamila looked over and noticed the large bird of prey was now on the bed and approaching Shani. Shani, however, was trying to crawl away from her while refusing to look away even for a moment. A small, proud smile tugged at Jamila's lips.

Her daughter truly had impeccable survival skills.

"Shani, dear, this is Skye. She is your dad's bird."

Shani looked at her mother in disbelief, anxiety still in her eyes despite Jamila's best efforts.

"Bird? Mama, it's huge! What if it eats me?" she squealed as she found the edge of the bed. Jamila smiled and shook her head as she set out two invites on her desk.

"I can promise you she won't. She prefers rabbits to children." Jamila replied with another laugh as she dipped her quill in the ink and began to write the first invite. A whine escaped Shani, and then there was silence.

Jamila glanced at her from the corner of her eye. Skye was nesting and preening her feathers, and Shani looked a little less anxious. Her eyes glimmered in wonder as she stared at the changing shades of the feathers. Jamila smiled and returned her attention to the invites.

She could hear Shani giggling and the bird cooing. Peace had at last been restored in the bedroom. But only for a few moments before she heard small feet pattering toward her. Shani looked over Jamila's shoulder and squinted at the Sullivian words on the paper.

"What are you writing?" she asked with a tilt of her head. Jamila didn't glance at her. Another yawn escaped her as she continued to write.

"Invitations for some very important people..."

She wished she could invite all her family, but figured that might be a little too much for people's hearts. Especially her brothers. Jamila rubbed her eyes, then blew on the ink, praying it would dry quickly.

"Invites for what?"

"Your birthday..." Jamila said absentmindedly as she finished stuffing the two letters in their envelopes. She froze as soon as the words left her. Jamila snapped her gaze toward Shani. Two shocked lavender eyes stared back at her.

"What?"

Silence fell once more, but this time was heavy. Tears pricked at the corners of Shani's eyes.

"F... For you and Uncle, right?" Shani asked, a hesitant smile on her face. Jamila's mouth formed a tight line. She tapped the desk in a pattern, and Shani squealed, dropping to her knees as Skye flew over and landed on the edge.

Jamila offered Skye a piece of jerky she was hiding in her sash. The bird took it and swallowed it without a moment's delay. Jamila then gave the bird the letters, which Skye took in her beak politely this time.

"Take care of them, Skye," she said with a small smile.

"Mama! Invites for wh—"

Shani was interrupted by a gust of wind as Jamila opened the circular window. Skye chirped and then was off a breath later. As soon as the monster bird was gone, Jamila shut the window with a loud bang. Shani covered her ears, and a moment later there was a light knock on the door.

"Your Majesty... are you alright?" a knight asked. Shani rose to her feet, her eyes wide as she stared at the door. Jamila could see her eyes dart from the door to the bracelet beside the bed. She sighed.

"Yes... the window just opened for a moment. Please return to your post." Her tone was calm.

"As you wish," the knight said before his footsteps could be heard once more beyond the door. Jamila rolled her shoulders as Shani calmed down and stared daggers at her mother.

"You sent those to him, didn't you?" she asked, her tone accusatory. Jamila's eyes softened as she turned to face her daughter. Shani was now frowning, her eyes glossy.

Jamila opened her mouth, but she couldn't find the right words. How was she supposed to explain to a child about politics, responsibilities, and doing what's best for people who tried to stone her and throw her to the forest? Jamila sighed, placing a tired hand on her cheek.

"Shani, dear... things changed, and Mama had to make a very tough choice..." Jamila reached toward her daughter. Shani's eyes widened as she took a step back from her.

"Then... were those other letters for my birthday too?" Shani's voice trembled. Her hands curled into fists. Jamila looked at her, confused for a moment. She sent those out rather late.

"What were you doing u—"

"Mama..." Shani bit the word out. Jamila paused.

"Yes... they were all invites for your birthday," she began, noticing the anger building in Shani's eyes.

"But! Other children will be coming, and I even invited some guests you may really like!" Jamila rambled. Shani bit her lip and continued to look at her. Her chin began to tremble as tears finally slipped out.

"You promised! You said only Uncle and you! Take them back!" Shani yelled as she gripped Jamila's dress. Jamila's heart felt heavy, but she took a deep breath. This was all for her daughter and her people.

"I can't... we are having the party." Jamila's tone was firm.

"No! I refuse! I don't want i—"

"Whether you want it or not doesn't matter anymore! The invites are sent and I will not change my mind."

Shani froze. Her eyes danced over Jamila as if she were staring at a stranger. She gripped her nightgown and turned. She grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself before settling on the couch, turning so all Jamila could see was her back.

Jamila sighed. A headache pounded behind her eyes. She was tired... but she shouldn't have snapped at Shani like that. She did promise her, after all. It was natural she would be upset. She approached Shani carefully and knelt down behind her.

"I'm sorry I broke our promise... but I will make sure it is still fun. I swear," she said as she placed a hand on the young girl's shoulder. Shani shrugged it off, her body trembling as she cried silently.

Jamila touched her own hair before sighing and heading toward the bed. She settled in and waited a moment. When Shani refused to even adjust her position, or look at her, she knew this was the end of the talk for tonight. She blew out the candle beside the bed, allowing the room to be swallowed in night.

She would make this up to Shani... she just needed to figure out how.