Chapter 1

Ethan managed a pale, yellow smile while the woman standing before him gazed at him with adoration, nearly melting with affection.

A full year had passed since his marriage to Miral... a year wasted in vain...

That year had been harsh and heavy upon his soul; he felt as though he had lived twelve months at random, a recurring nightmare he wanted to escape. He had never wished to marry Miral at all, but compelling circumstances and the responsibilities forced upon him were what placed them in this marital cage. Although he knew full well this union was forced upon him for reasons of his own, he could never stop the feelings of disgust and hidden hatred toward that woman.

He carried a deep, unexplained resentment in his chest toward her. Even though Miral had never committed any sin deserving of this cruelty, he simply... could not bear her love. Throughout that year, he did his utmost to avoid speaking with her as much as possible, using work or constant exhaustion as flimsy excuses to escape spending any time beside her. Lately, however, these tricks had begun to lose their effectiveness; the young woman had started pressing to get closer to him, wanting to spend more time with her husband.

Love had never been the reason for this marriage, quite the contrary. His young son, Deniz, was in dire need of a mother, and Miral seemed the most suitable choice for that task. Deniz, who was not of Miral's flesh and blood, was all he had in this world and the only reason tying him to life. Following the departure of his sole beloved and wife—the only woman he had ever truly seen in his life—he had suffered a shock that caused him to retreat into himself, lose the desire for everything, and find living a burden devoid of purpose. Though he had reached the depths of despair, his child was the only rope that dragged him back to the surface.

Whenever he recalled those gloomy days, his chest would tighten as if air were running out. It was the worst period he had ever experienced. The sole light that pulled him out of that dark tunnel was the voice of little Deniz crying and calling out for the first time: "Papa!"

For this reason alone, and in order to save his son from the deprivation of motherhood, he agreed to marry the woman sitting before him now, devouring her food unceremoniously. He never would have accepted Miral as a wife had it not been for his father's relentless pressure and his son's best interests, which superseded all other considerations. His family had heavily urged him toward her, viewing her as a good, wholesome family girl who would make an ideal mother for the boy.

At first, he resisted fiercely. He made his family hear his categorical refusal and assured them he would never take that step. He held out for a long time, but seeing Deniz grow up deprived of maternal warmth began to tear his heart apart in silence. Time passed mercilessly, and he felt himself increasingly unable to bridge the void plaguing his child's life. Finally, he surrendered and agreed to this forced marriage.

As for the biggest reason for his hatred of Miral, it was simply that she was not a woman worthy of standing beside him.

Miral... a young woman approaching ninety kilograms, clumsy, and simple to the point of naivety.

Yes, in Ethan's eyes, she was a fool in every sense of the word. No matter what he did to her, and no matter how much cruelty she endured, she never opened her mouth in objection; instead, she would surprise him by offering foolish and humiliating apologies. This absolute submissiveness and continuous weakness drove Ethan insane.

A woman so broken that he had never once seen a single flash of rebellion in her eyes. He had watched her repeatedly swallow his father's insults in silence, listening to his biting remarks with a breaking heart, then shedding hidden tears under the delusion that no one saw her. In those moments, rather than feeling pity for her, his contempt for her only burned brighter; by nature, he utterly despised the weak and the broken.

Yes, her past life—frail from rejection and bullying by those around her—had caused her to withdraw into herself, prolong isolation, and avoid eye contact with strangers. She could not bear people's critical and probing gazes. For some reason, she excused him for that; since childhood, she had suffered from excessive weight gain, for which she repeatedly visited doctors, but her stubborn and slow-burning stomach left her unable to resist food. Because of those biting taunts, she had longed on multiple occasions to complete her high school education via remote learning, but her mother stopped her, leaving her trapped between the walls of the house as soon as her school years ended.

***

Upon entering Ethan's house as a wife, matters grew even harsher and more difficult. The presence of a woman with this much introversion and obesity beside a man of striking, head-turning handsomeness stirred strange whispers among people. Those looks of surprise and pity were reflected in everyone's eyes, and worst of all were the rude comments from ignorant folks who did not hesitate to declare aloud that Miral was never suited for a man like Ethan.

When Ethan announced his desire to marry her, Miral was not surprised by how quickly she agreed; rather, she firmly believed she had accepted because she could not fathom that any man would ever accept her as a wife to begin with. Who, after all, would want a woman who always stayed at home, struggled to speak with confidence, and battled excess weight? For Ethan, merely being in the same room with her, sharing a bed, or even exchanging casual conversation with her was a heavy psychological torture. Throughout the past year, he had fled from her in every possible way, as though they were playing a game of cat and mouse inside the house.

As for Miral's mind, reality was an entirely different rosy paradise. She was madly in love with her husband. When he told her of his desire to marry her, her astonishment mixed with an indescribable, overwhelming joy. She had secretly loved him with a blind love, and for that hidden love to transform into a tangible reality was a miracle she had never dreamed of achieving. Every time she remembered that moment, her heart soared with joy within her chest.

To Miral, the presence of Ethan's child was neither an obstacle nor a problem in any way. She had embraced Deniz from the very first moment as if he were a piece of her soul. Given their relatively close ages, she felt as though they were growing up together. She spared no effort to ensure he did not feel the absence of his mother, but rather to make him see her as a true mother in every sense of the word.

Deniz, at five years old, was an exceptionally sweet and intelligent child.

Eileen, Deniz's real mother and Ethan's first wife, had passed away following a horrific car accident. That loss was a devastating blow to both Ethan and Deniz. During those gloomy, difficult days, Miral was the sole support that did not walk away; she stayed by Deniz's side unceasingly, watching the man destroyed by grief in silence and pain.

She was a kind soul to a naive degree, which led her to believe that Ethan had married her out of love and conviction. He was the first and last man in her heart, her first love to culminate in marriage, and fate had blessed her with a child like Deniz to cradle in her lap, even if he was not of her own flesh and blood. She possessed a safe, beautiful home, and she aspired to nothing more. Every detail of her life seemed sufficient to her... or so she thought.

Ethan was adept at hiding his feelings, a mysterious human being whose thoughts no one could read or discover what was churning in his mind. She had suffered terribly trying to decode this man for a whole year; she never understood what angered him or provoked his wrath, for her husband granted her no sign of love, nor did he clearly translate his hatred, nor ever voice his intentions. With time, she stopped trying to understand him and decided to accept him just as she found him.

Yet despite her overwhelming love for Deniz, her feminine instincts made her constantly dream of a child from her own flesh and blood.

Since her youth, Miral had adored children and wished one day to become a true mother. Had she been given the opportunity to complete her university education, she would have chosen a major related to children and their upbringing, but her father's obstinacy aborted her dream. When she once mustered the courage to ask Ethan to have a child, she was met with a cruel, sharp rejection that rendered her speechless, and she never repeated the request out of fear of his anger, content to pour all her affection and motherhood onto Deniz. Deep inside, however, she longed for the day her husband's heart would soften so she could bear a child from the man she adored.

Deniz, for his part, knew full well that his real mother had passed away and that Miral was merely his substitute mother. Although he barely remembered his late mother through faded photographs, the longing for her visited him occasionally. He loved Miral and never complained about her at all, but something inside him remained tethered to that absent woman.

His childish fear that loving Miral would be a betrayal of his real mother's memory often pushed him to drive Miral away. He would express this aloofness with occasional childhood harshness, deluding himself that he was not betraying his late mother.

***

He was a small child terrified of forgetting the features of that woman who had faded into memory. On many nights, he would cry silently as he stared at his mother's photograph. Countless times, Miral heard his muffled sobs behind closed doors, which only drove her to grow more attached to him, protecting him with utmost gentleness as if he were a piece of fragile glass afraid of breaking.

Ethan had married Eileen when he was twenty years old. He loved her with a blind love that made him stand against his entire family for her. In their first year of marriage, they learned of her pregnancy with Deniz—a happiness he could not describe in words. He had lived the pinnacle of joy the day he married Eileen and the day he held Deniz to his chest. Eileen was the absolute love of his life. Whenever he remembered her, a heavy feeling of bitterness and desolation swept over him, alongside a ruthless, destructive longing. After her departure, he was never able to piece his soul back together.