Chapter 9

Chapter 9 — When Love Feels Like Jealousy

At around five in the evening, I heard a car stop outside my house.

I looked through the window.

James.

My heart immediately started beating faster.

I grabbed my bag and went outside.

When I opened the door, I stopped for a second.

James was standing beside his car, wearing a shirt with two buttons undone.

Oh my God.

He looked so handsome.

I quickly looked away before he could notice me staring.

He smiled and walked toward me.

"Hi, Yuri."

"Hi."

Then I noticed something in his hand.

Flowers.

He was holding a beautiful bunch of flowers.

"For you."

I stared at them.

"For me?"

He nodded.

"No one has ever given me flowers before."

I took them carefully, feeling like I was floating somewhere in the sky.

"Thank you."

He looked at me and smiled.

"You look stunning."

My cheeks immediately turned red.

"And beautiful."

I looked down.

Why did my skin always betray me?

Whenever I felt shy, my cheeks turned bright red.

James noticed.

"You're turning red again."

"Stop looking at me."

He laughed softly.

I quickly got into the car.

He walked around and opened the door for me.

As soon as I sat down, he leaned over and pulled the seat belt across me.

"Safety first, ma'am."

I looked at him.

My stomach was already full of butterflies.

He started the car, and we drove away.

For a few minutes, neither of us said anything.

Then he stopped somewhere.

"I'll be back."

"Where are you going?"

"Wait here."

He returned a few minutes later with a packet.

He handed it to me.

I opened it.

My favourite chocolate-chip cookies.

I looked at him in surprise.

"How did you know?"

I couldn't control my emotions and hugged him.

He seemed surprised for a moment before smiling.

"I asked Nina."

"Nina?"

"Yeah. She called me about her birthday party, so I asked her for some tips on how to impress you."

I laughed.

"You actually asked her?"

"Of course."

I hugged the cookies to my chest.

For some reason, the little things he did made me happier than anything expensive ever could.

Soon, we reached Nina's birthday party.

The party was being held at Nina's house because her parents were away on a business trip.

Calling it a house would have been an understatement.

It looked more like a private club.

There were lights everywhere, music playing, decorations all around, and people laughing in every corner.

Nina's other school friends had also come.

Some of them were already drinking alcohol.

I had never really been around something like this before.

It felt completely new to me.

I spotted Nina.

"Hey, Nina!"

She turned around and hugged me.

"Hi, Yuri!"

She looked beautiful that evening.

Then she noticed James.

"Oh my God! I can't believe you actually came!"

She hugged him too.

James handed her a bunch of flowers.

"Happy birthday."

"Thank you!"

She smiled.

Then she looked at me.

"Yuri, he actually brought you here!"

I laughed.

"Yeah."

James shrugged.

"No problem."

Soon, the party became louder.

Lia and Lily joined us, and everyone started enjoying themselves.

Nina looked incredibly happy.

It was her birthday, after all.

At one point, Nina came over and asked,

"Do you want something to drink?"

"No, I'm good."

She smiled.

"Okay."

I noticed Michael standing nearby.

He wasn't drinking either.

He was very health-conscious and usually avoided things that he felt weren't good for him.

For some reason, I liked that about him.

Maybe because I understood it.

As the evening continued, I noticed something else.

Several girls kept looking at James.

Some of them even tried to talk to him.

I tried to ignore it.

I wasn't a jealous person.

At least, I didn't think I was.

Then Lily came toward me.

"Come on, Yuri! Let's have some drinks."

"Okay, but just lemon soda."

"Fine!"

I looked at James.

"I'll be back."

He nodded.

I followed Lily and Nina.

We started talking about random things, and eventually, the conversation turned toward Nina's relationship.

"So, where's your boyfriend?" I asked.

She sighed.

"We broke up."

I was surprised.

"What? Why?"

"He was really controlling. He used to tell me what I could and couldn't wear on my birthday. He was becoming too toxic."

I felt bad for her.

"You did the right thing. You deserve someone who respects you."

She smiled.

"Thanks."

We laughed and continued talking.

Then Nina cut the cake.

Everyone gathered around her.

"Happy birthday!"

The room filled with cheers and applause.

Nina smiled as she blew out the candles.

Everyone was enjoying the moment.

But my eyes kept wandering toward James.

More and more girls were surrounding him.

And then I noticed Olivia.

She was standing very close to him.

Olivia was cute, and I knew she was his best friend.

I also knew she had a boyfriend.

But still...

Why did she always seem so close to him?

Lia noticed my expression.

"Yuri, relax."

"I'm fine."

"He's loyal to you."

I nodded.

But deep down, I still felt uncomfortable.

Maybe I was being boring.

Maybe I was being too sensitive again.

I tried to forget about it.

A little later, I was standing alone when a boy approached me.

"Hi."

"Hey."

He smiled.

"Would you like to dance?"

"Oh, no. I'm good."

He smiled.

"By the way, you look beautiful."

I became nervous.

"Thank you."

We started talking for a few minutes.

He seemed friendly.

Then he asked again,

"Come on. Let's dance."

I hesitated.

"Okay."

Before I could move, Jack suddenly appeared.

"Hey, Nina!"

He gave Nina a quick hug.

Then he noticed me.

"Hi, Yuri."

"Hi."

The boy looked at Jack and seemed to misunderstand the situation.

"Oh, hey."

Jack looked confused.

The boy smiled awkwardly.

"I'll be back."

He walked away.

I felt relieved.

A few seconds later, James came toward me.

He put his hand gently on my shoulder.

I looked at him.

"Why were you talking to him?"

I stared at him.

"Excuse me?"

"You could have just said no."

My eyes narrowed.

"You were with your best friend the whole evening."

His expression changed.

"Yuri..."

"You were hugging Olivia."

"That's not what you think."

I crossed my arms.

"You were so close to her."

"She was talking to me."

"And that boy was talking to me."

James sighed.

"I'm not angry because you were talking to him."

"Then why are you?"

"Because I was worried about you."

I looked away.

He took my hand.

"I'm sorry."

His voice became softer.

"I was just coming to you, but those girls were talking to me. I didn't mean to ignore you."

I stayed silent.

He squeezed my hand.

"I'm not interested in anyone else."

My eyes started filling with tears.

I didn't want to cry.

Not here.

Not again.

"I think I should go home."

James looked worried.

"Yuri..."

"I'm not feeling well."

I went to Nina.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going home."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just tired."

I stepped outside and booked a cab.

As I stood there waiting, old memories began coming back.

I remembered being a child.

I remembered my parents arguing.

I remembered one night when my father had been drinking and my parents were fighting.

I didn't even understand what was happening.

But somehow, my mother's anger had fallen on me.

I hadn't done anything wrong.

Yet I had still been blamed.

I had stood there confused, wondering why everyone was angry with me.

That feeling had stayed somewhere inside me.

The feeling of being blamed for something I hadn't done.

The feeling of being misunderstood.

Maybe that's why situations like this hurt me so much.

My phone started ringing.

James.

I answered.

"I don't want to talk."

"Yuri, please."

"You broke my heart."

I ended the call.

The cab arrived, and I went home.

That night, I was right about one thing.

Maybe Nina had been right.

Maybe James wasn't the person for me.

---

The entire Sunday, I stayed in bed.

I cried more than I wanted to admit.

My mother came to my room.

"Come and have dinner."

"I'm not feeling well."

She looked at me for a moment.

"Okay. I'll bring something for you."

I couldn't even look into her eyes.

I ate my meals in my room.

James kept calling.

I didn't answer.

Eventually, I blocked him.

His calls.

His messages.

Everything.

I just wanted silence.

---

Monday morning came.

I went to school and avoided James.

All day.

After school, he finally caught up with me.

"Yuri, please. I want to talk."

"What are you trying to explain?"

He looked hurt.

"I'm just going to explain what happened at the party."

"You were with other girls, and you were hugging your best friend."

"Please, just listen."

"I don't need an explanation."

"Yuri..."

Then he said something that made my heart stop.

"She told me she loves me."

I stared at him.

"What?"

"Olivia."

My heart sank.

"She said she likes me."

I didn't know what to say.

James quickly continued.

"But I don't feel that way about her. She's my friend. I love you."

"Then why were you holding her?"

"She started crying. I was just trying to calm her down. I kept telling her that it wasn't possible."

My eyes filled with tears again.

"You know I have social anxiety."

He nodded.

"And you still chose your best friend instead of coming to me."

"I didn't choose anyone over you."

I looked away.

"You hurt me."

"I'm sorry."

For a moment, I wanted to stay angry.

But seeing him standing there, looking so hurt, made it difficult.

I sighed.

"Okay."

He looked up.

"Okay?"

"I forgive you."

His face softened.

"But I want to focus on my studies now."

He nodded.

"Okay."

He hesitated.

"Can I have a hug?"

I looked at him.

"Why?"

"Because it makes me feel better."

I couldn't help smiling a little.

I hugged him.

For a few seconds, everything felt quiet.

No jealousy.

No arguments.

No misunderstandings.

Just us.

When we pulled away, James smiled.

"Good luck with your exams."

"You too."

After that day, things became different.

We didn't stop caring about each other.

We still talked.

We still smiled when we saw each other.

Sometimes, James would walk beside me after class.

Sometimes, I would secretly look for him.

But we weren't like a couple anymore.

Not completely.

The next month became busy.

Exams were getting closer.

I spent more time studying.

James did the same.

We both knew that our future mattered too.

So we gave our studies the attention they deserved.

Some days we talked for only a few minutes.

Some days we barely spoke at all.

But somehow, even in the silence, I knew he was still there.

Maybe love wasn't always about being together every second.

Sometimes, love was about giving someone space.

Sometimes, it was about learning from mistakes.

And sometimes, it was about choosing to stay—even after misunderstanding each other.

I didn't know what the future held for us.

But as I opened my book that evening and started preparing for my exam, one thought quietly stayed in my heart.

Maybe our story wasn't ending.

Maybe we were simply learning how to love each other better.