Chapter 3

Chapter 3 — Old Wounds

Rain had been falling since late afternoon when Alya finally left Adikara Hospital. After completing her patient reports and attending a brief evaluation with the attending physician, she had only managed to change out of her work clothes shortly before seven in the evening. Her body felt exhausted, especially her shoulders, which had been tense from standing for so long since morning. However, she still needed to stop by a convenience store before going home because she was running out of food in her apartment.

Alya opened her umbrella in front of the lobby and walked through the drizzle toward the parking lot. As she passed a row of cars, she spotted a man standing beside a black sedan, talking on his phone. His white coat had been removed and draped over his arm, while his light blue shirt looked slightly rumpled after a long day at work.

Raka.

Alya immediately looked away and continued toward her own car. She had no intention of spending any more time at the hospital simply because she had to share a parking lot with her ex-boyfriend. However, just as she opened her car door, Raka's voice came from behind her.

"Alya, are you heading home now?"

Alya turned around, her expression flat. "Doesn't it look that way?"

Raka gave a small nod, as though he had expected that answer.

"Take care. The rain is getting heavier."

Alya did not respond. She got into her car, closed the door, and started the engine. Through the windshield, which was gradually becoming covered with raindrops, she caught a glimpse of Raka still standing in the same spot as he slipped his phone into his pocket.

Alya sighed and drove out of the parking lot.

She should not have needed to think about such a brief conversation, yet something about Raka's attitude irritated her. He spoke to her as though they were simply two old friends who had happened to meet again, even though Alya still remembered exactly how their relationship had ended and how long it had taken her to stop hoping that Raka would come back with an explanation.

Perhaps, to Raka, everything was already in the past. Perhaps he had moved on with his life without ever needing to look back.

As for Alya, she had never been entirely sure whether she had done the same.

---

Three days after their reunion in the conference room, Alya had begun to adjust to her routine of working alongside Raka, although she still limited their conversations to matters involving their patients. They discussed examination results, reviewed treatment plans, and reported their patients' progress to the attending physician. Outside of those responsibilities, Alya did her best to keep her distance.

Unfortunately, a hospital was not the kind of place where one could easily avoid another person.

That morning, they met again at the nurses' station to receive the patient reports before rounds began. Alya was reviewing the notes of a postoperative patient when Raka arrived carrying two cups of coffee.

He placed one beside Naya before taking the empty seat across from Alya.

"Naya, here's the coffee you asked for yesterday," he said.

Naya immediately broke into a wide smile. "You finally remembered. I thought you were going to forget."

"I told you I'd buy it."

"Thank you, Dr. Raka. May all your patients be stable today."

Raka chuckled. "Amen."

Alya paid no further attention to their conversation. She was reviewing laboratory results when another cup of coffee was placed beside her folder.

She looked up and found Raka withdrawing his hand.

"I didn't order coffee," Alya said.

"It's not for you. It's for Rafi. He asked me to leave it here."

Alya glanced at the cup before looking back at Raka. "Then why did you put it beside me?"

"Because Rafi's seat is next to yours."

Alya turned toward the empty chair beside her, then let out a short breath when she realized that his explanation made perfect sense.

"Fine."

Raka made no further comment. He returned to reading his patient reports, while Alya tried to focus on the medical notes in front of her.

Naya, who had witnessed the exchange, suppressed a smile as she opened her coffee cup. She seemed to enjoy every opportunity to watch Alya interact with Raka, even though her friend always wore an expression suggesting that every conversation with the man was the most exhausting part of her job.

"Alya," Naya called a few moments later.

"What?"

"Do you remember when we were in high school and you got mad at me because I accidentally drank Raka's coffee?"

Alya immediately raised her head.

"Naya, we're at work."

"I'm just asking."

"Then ask something related to a patient."

Naya laughed, while Raka, sitting across from them, remained silent with his head lowered. However, from the corner of her eye, Alya caught sight of a faint smile on his face.

That smile reminded her of something she had spent a long time trying to forget.

---

Five years earlier, Alya had still been in her final year of high school when Raka first bought her a cup of milk coffee after they finished their extracurricular activities. At the time, Alya had been frustrated because she had to complete a group assignment on her own, while Raka had just finished basketball practice.

Raka appeared at her classroom door with sweat-dampened hair and two drinks in his hands.

"You're still here?" he asked.

Alya, who was writing in her notebook, glanced at him briefly. "If I'd already gone home, do you think I'd still be sitting here?"

Raka chuckled and placed one of the cups on her desk.

"I bought you a drink."

Alya looked at the cup before turning her gaze back to him. "You remembered that I like this one?"

"You order the same thing almost every time we go out."

"So you actually pay attention to what I order?"

"If I didn't pay attention to something that simple, you'd probably have scolded me by now."

Alya finally laughed. "Absolutely."

Raka pulled out the chair beside her and sat down, glancing at the open assignment book in front of her.

"How much do you have left?"

"Quite a lot. If you want to help, go ahead."

"I don't understand your assignment."

"Then just be quiet and keep me company."

Raka did as she asked. He took out his phone, occasionally showing her funny videos he had found, and let her finish her work without disturbing her. They spent almost an hour in the classroom before finally walking together toward the school gates.

Their relationship had begun with a simple friendship. Raka often helped Alya carry her books, waited for her to finish school activities, and took her home when it rained. Alya, in turn, had grown accustomed to being the first person Raka turned to whenever he encountered a problem, whether it concerned school or his family.

Neither of them had planned when their feelings would turn into love. Everything had developed gradually through long conversations, small gestures, and the time they spent together.

By the time Raka finally confessed his feelings, Alya already knew what she wanted to say.

"I like you, Alya," Raka said one afternoon in the garden behind their school. "Not just as a friend."

Alya looked at him for a long moment before smiling.

"I'm glad you said that."

Raka frowned. "Why?"

"Because I like you, too. If you only saw me as a friend, I might have had to distance myself so I could get over these feelings."

Raka laughed in relief before taking her hand.

"Then don't go anywhere."

Alya nodded, allowing her hand to remain in his.

Back then, she believed that as long as they loved each other, there was no problem they could not talk through together.

That belief was what made their eventual separation so painful.

---

The day everything changed began with a short message from one of Alya's friends late in the afternoon. Her friend said she had seen Raka at a café with another woman. At first, Alya did not think much of it because Raka often met his friends after school.

However, when her friend sent her a photograph, Alya could no longer ignore the uneasiness growing in her chest.

In the picture, Raka was sitting across from a woman with long hair. She wore a white blouse and was smiling at him, while the man who was Alya's boyfriend appeared to be listening to something she was saying.

The photograph did not show anything that could serve as definite proof that Raka was cheating on her. However, Alya knew that Raka had never mentioned the meeting, and the woman in the picture was not someone he had ever introduced to her.

She tried calling Raka, but he did not answer. The messages she sent were marked as read but remained unanswered for several minutes.

Eventually, Alya decided to go to the café herself.

When she arrived, she saw Raka still sitting at the same table. The woman across from him was talking while playing with the straw in her drink, and Raka occasionally nodded, looking at her with a serious expression.

Alya stood near the entrance for a moment before finally gathering the courage to approach them.

"Raka."

Raka immediately turned around. His expression changed when he saw Alya standing beside the table.

"Alya? What are you doing here?"

The question only hurt her more.

"I'm the one who should be asking that. You told me you had something to do with a friend today, but here you are with another woman."

The woman sitting across from Raka looked startled. She glanced at Alya, then at Raka, as though waiting for an explanation.

Raka stood up from his chair.

"Alya, let's talk outside."

"Why do we have to go outside? What are you hiding?"

"That's not it."

"Then what is it?"

Raka rubbed his face with both hands, looking bewildered by the barrage of questions. He glanced at the woman still sitting at the table before turning back to Alya.

"I can explain, but not here."

Alya let out a bitter laugh. "You always say that. You'll explain later, you'll talk to me afterward, you just need more time. I'm tired, Raka."

"Alya, just listen to me first."

"If nothing is going on, why have you never told me about her?"

Raka fell silent.

That silence made Alya feel as though every terrible suspicion she had been trying to dismiss had finally found its own justification. She knew she should listen to Raka's explanation until the end, but the hurt and disappointment made it difficult for her to think clearly.

"I trusted you," she said, her voice trembling. "All this time, I believed you would never do anything that could hurt me like this."

"Alya, I never meant to hurt you."

"But you did anyway."

Raka tried to move closer, but Alya stepped back.

"Don't touch me."

He stopped.

Alya looked at him one last time, hoping Raka would say something that might convince her to stay a little longer. Instead, he simply stood in front of her with a tense expression, while the woman at the table began to look uncomfortable.

Finally, Alya turned around and walked out of the café.

That night, Raka called her repeatedly. Alya did not answer a single call, and when the messages started coming in, she chose to turn off her phone. She cried for almost the entire night, feeling foolish for having placed so much trust in someone who, in her eyes, had failed to value their relationship enough.

The following morning, Raka waited for her outside her classroom.

"Alya, we need to talk."

"I don't want to."

"Please, just listen to me for a moment."

Alya kept walking, but Raka followed a few steps behind her.

"I didn't cheat on you."

Alya stopped and turned around. "Then why were you meeting that woman in secret?"

Raka opened his mouth but did not answer immediately.

Alya stared at him, her eyes still swollen from crying. "If you really want to save this relationship, at least give me a reason to trust you."

Raka lowered his head for a moment.

"I can't explain everything right now."

That answer destroyed what little patience Alya had left.

"Then we're over."

Raka quickly raised his head. "Alya, don't do this."

"I gave you a chance to explain, but you still chose to remain silent. I can't keep holding on to a relationship that makes me question myself every single day."

"I just need more time."

"I've already waited."

Alya turned and walked toward her classroom. This time, Raka did not follow her.

They continued seeing each other at school for the next several months, but their relationship never returned to what it had once been. Alya tried to avoid him, while Raka occasionally attempted to speak to her. Every time he did, Alya was reminded of the woman at the café and the explanation she had never received.

Gradually, they stopped looking for each other.

After graduation, Alya pursued her medical education and devoted her time to studying. She rarely told anyone the full story because she saw no point in repeatedly discussing a relationship that had already ended. Even when Naya asked, Alya simply said that Raka had betrayed her and that they were no longer in contact.

For Alya, that was enough to explain why she had no desire to see him again.

---

"Alya?"

Naya's voice pulled Alya out of her thoughts.

She found herself back at the nurses' station at Adikara Hospital, with a patient report open in front of her and the sounds of hospital activity drifting in from the corridor. Naya was standing beside the desk, holding a folder.

"You've been quiet for a while. I've called you twice already."

Alya blinked and straightened her back.

"Sorry. I was thinking about something."

"Thinking about a patient or thinking about someone?"

Alya immediately looked at her. "If you want to have a peaceful day today, you'd better not finish that sentence."

Naya chuckled and placed the folder on the desk.

"All right, I won't bother you. But Dr. Bagas wants us to submit the report before two o'clock."

Alya picked up the folder and checked its contents. "I'll finish it now."

Naya walked toward the door, but before leaving, she glanced back.

"Alya, I know you don't like talking about Raka, so I won't force you. But if you ever want to talk about it again, I'll listen."

Alya looked at her friend for a few moments. A small smile appeared on her face, although it did not last long.

"Thanks, Nay."

Naya nodded before leaving the room.

Alya returned her attention to the patient report. She completed the unfinished notes, double-checked the laboratory results, and organized the documents according to the examination sequence. Once everything was ready, she stood up and carried the folder to the attending physician's office.

At the door, she encountered Raka just as he was coming out of the room.

They both stopped.

"I'm here to submit the report," Alya said, lifting her folder slightly.

"Dr. Bagas is still inside. You can go straight in."

Alya nodded and was about to walk past him when Raka spoke again.

"Alya, I know you still consider what happened back then a betrayal."

Alya stopped with her hand on the doorknob. She did not turn around immediately, but her shoulders visibly tensed.

Raka continued in a quieter voice. "I just want you to know that there are things about what happened back then that you never knew."

Alya finally turned around. Her expression showed that his words had only made her more irritated.

"If you have something to say, then say it clearly. Stop giving me half-answers as though I'm supposed to guess what you mean."

Raka fell silent.

Alya waited for a few seconds, but when no answer came, she opened the door and entered Dr. Bagas's office without saying anything further.

Inside, the senior physician was reading a report at his desk. He looked up when Alya entered and motioned for her to sit down.

"Is the patient report ready?"

"Yes, Doctor. I've also double-checked the examination results."

"Good. Leave it here. I'll review it before the evaluation meeting."

Alya handed him the folder and explained several developments in the patient's condition that required attention. Dr. Bagas listened while taking notes, then gave her several instructions regarding monitoring and documentation.

When their discussion was finished, Alya asked permission to return to her unit.

She left the office with steady steps, passing through a corridor that was beginning to fill with visitors arriving to see their hospitalized family members. When she reached the nurses' station, her phone vibrated with a message from her mother asking whether she would be coming home for dinner that weekend.

Alya replied that she would try to make it, then slipped her phone into the pocket of her white coat and returned to work.