Ch 26. Duplicitous

John was already sitting up in his hammock when small drops of water began falling from a leaf onto where his head would’ve been. He gently pushed the leaf back up to reset it and pushed himself up. He’d actually slept very well, and felt relaxed and laid back, an unusual state for him. He stretched a bit, his neck and back cracking satisfactorily as he did so and he made his way to the bathroom. Once he was clean he went to his oversized wardrobe and grabbed one of his green suits that had a repeated pattern of small squares woven subtly all across it along with his usual crisp white shirt.

He found himself out the door far earlier than usual, walking down the steps to his evergrowing apartment tree and walking out to see the sunrise. The clouds were a rich shade of purple and he could see a number of dragons, drakes, wyverns, rocs, thunderbirds, and other flying citizens of Avalon stretching their wings. There were a large number of avian citizens out this early in the morning, and he found himself particularly delighted by a birdfolk woman pushing a stroller filled with the ugliest, fluffiest chicks that she was singing to to keep calm. There was something so particularly delightful about things that were both ugly and cute.

John made his way down the sidewalks, enjoying how relatively clear they were compared to usual. He found himself excited to go to work. He was always looking forward to helping people, but he felt a particular pep in his step. He tracked that thought for a few moments and realized the real thing he was excited for was seeing Andressa. He shook his head. He had feelings for her. He’d gone back and forth, admitting it, then second guessing, then admitting it again, but needed to really acknowledge it.

She had solved all of his administrative problems since he’d hired her. She was kind to his patients and his friends. She was beautiful, no matter what shade of red she was. He even liked how she teased him to get a rise out of him. He enjoyed the banter they shared every day. He was always just a little excited to find out how she was planning on bothering him when he first went into the office. It did still bother him of course, but that was part of the game.

While he’d settled on the fact that he liked her, he wasn’t sure of exactly what to do about it. His track record dating a secretary wasn't looking great so far, not to mention making a habit of that made him feel a bit…lecherous. If it didn’t work out he’d either create a terribly awkward work environment, or need to find another secretary. At least the former option would ensure Andressa was well fed. He also wasn’t sure that she shared his feelings. They were friendly with one another, and occasionally a little flirtatious, but it was hard to gauge whether or not that was just her trying to feed or showing genuine interest. He sighed. For now it wasn’t a problem he needed to solve. He decided to just enjoy the feeling of a fresh crush.

John walked into Hilda’s and got into the long early morning line. He’d forgotten that was one of the reasons he preferred to come into work later. He waited patiently, watching as Mia worked her way through the line. That day she was wearing what looked to be a bridal gown that had been torn at the skirt and arms then dyed black. She was wearing a large string of pearls along with it that had been painted to look like eyeballs, and her re-grown hair was standing up completely in a dozen different chaotic directions. He was always impressed when he watched her work. She handled every customer well, no matter their disposition. He’d always thought of himself as a personable guy, but at Mia’s age there was no way he could’ve managed to work the way that she did.

Eventually he squeezed his way past a minotaur getting a literal barrel of bread, and made his way to the counter.

“Good morning Mia.”

“Hey John, you’re early today, I’ll have to go grab your bagels.”

“That’s fine,” he responded. “Oh, please get me whatever the special is too.”

“No problem,” she said as she slipped into the back. A few moments later she emerged with the paper bags and handed them to them. He slid the coins her way, and when he noticed there was no one behind him he decided he could stay and chat for a moment.

“How’re you doing today?” he asked.

Mia’s usual smile dipped a bit. “I’m fine.”

John let that hang for a moment, deciding not to push.

She sighed. “Mom’s getting on me to find an apprenticeship.”

“Oh? I thought she just wanted you working here?”

“She knows I don’t want that, but I want more time to be sure of what I do want.”

“And you’ve told her that?”

“Yep, but she still brings it up all that time.”

John laughed. “Yeah, sounds like a mother. My mom would do the same thing to me and my siblings when it came to giving her grandchildren.”

“Oh no. I’m not looking forward to that.”

A customer came in and started to approach the counter.

“I’m going to get out of your way, but if you want to talk about this more, you know where to find me, alright?”

She nodded, and John said a quick goodbye before crossing the street to his office. He was lost in thought and so wound up in front of the wrong building and needed to slide over to his front door. He tried to open it, before remembering that Andressa wouldn’t have been there to open it for him yet. He turned his key and walked inside.

He paused for a moment. There was something…different. The color of the walls was more of an eggshell than an ivory, the patterns on the rug looked to be going in the opposite direction too. He shook his head. Maybe he wasn’t as well rested as he’d thought.

He placed his extra bag of fresh pastries on Andressa’s desk and walked into his office. It wasn’t until he sat down at his desk and noticed that it had two large unblinking red eyes that he realized what was wrong.

“A mimic!?”

He tried to push himself out of his chair, but the arms of it squeezed him down, keeping him from moving. He kept struggling anyway, pushing himself backward as the desk in front of his drawers opened revealing rows of sharp teeth. When he backed into the wall it seemed to hurt his chair enough that its grip loosened. He slipped out of and dodged to the side just before his desk could bite his leg.

He moved for the window, thinking it was the closest exit, when the curtain drawstrings whipped out and wrapped themselves around his neck, trying to strangle him.

“The whole- fucking- office?” he managed to grunt out as he braced his leg against the wall and pushed himself back far enough that it tore the dtrawstring and he was able to breathe again. Unfortunately, the rest of his furniture had closed in on him in the meantime.

He spent the next several minutes fiercely dodging a couch that tried to ram him like a bull, a chair whose pillow zippers opened to show a gaping maw, his bookshelves shooting knick-knacks at him, and his desk still trying to bite at him. He was not dignified as he avoided them. He screamed, cursed, and hollered the entire time hoping that he would draw some kind of attention to himself.

Just as he thought he was going to be cornered by his coffee table, the door to the office burst open and a guard in full plate came in. He was some kind of half giant, barely fitting into the room. He quickly assessed the situation and began carving through all of the villainous furnishings with his sword. Once he’d finished killing anything small enough to follow them back through the door he scooped up John in a less than dignified manner and brought him outside where a small crowd had gathered. Only once he was outside did he realize that there were two of his offices right next to one another. He must’ve been too distracted to have noticed and it had nearly cost him his life.

“You’re alright!” said Andressa, running over to him.

He quickly fixed his hair and tried to smooth down his suit a bit. “I’m alive. I don’t know that I’d say I’m alright.”

She surprised him by wrapping him in a hug and he nearly pulled away, but decided to let it linger for a moment.

“When I saw there were two offices I called the guard.”

“Thank you for that,” he looked over to see that several more guards had joined the first one to do battle against the mimic building that had decided to set up shop next to his own.

“I actually have our office enchanted against mimics entering it. Guess I never expected them to mimic the entire building.” He shook his head and looked at her. “I’m sorry to say I lost your pastries.”

“I mean. They may still be on my desk. I think a real gentleman would get them.”

She said it with a straight face, but when he decided to call her bluff he found her tail wrapped tightly around his wrist.

“On second thought, you can just bring me double tomorrow.”