Ch 23. Rene
A short while after John finished his breakfast he heard the door to the waiting room open. He walked out the door and saw Rene exchanging pleasantries with Andressa, a small hat held in front of his chest.
John smiled at him. “Rene! It’s been too long. You can come on in.”
“Thank you,” said Rene with a smile.
“When you’re done I want you to let me know what you thought of that lizardman restaurant I recommended to you last month,” said Andressa.
“I shall,” said Rene, giving her a nod as he went into John’s office.
He didn’t need to ask if Rene wanted tea, he knew that he did and he knew what kind and how he took it. He made a cup almost automatically as Rene got settled and handed it to him along with his customary two sugar cubes and small spoonful of honey.
“Thank you,” said Rene as he took the mug and smelled the rich tea within. He preferred a strong blend that left the hot water as dark as coffee. He set it down to let it steep a bit more.
“Oh, I also got you a little something.” He went back to his desk and pulled out the small pouch he’d bought from the kobolds earlier that morning. He handed it to Rene, who took it and looked at him questioningly.
“It’s a gift,” said John with a smile.
“Oh, thank you mon ami,” he said, placing it gently to his side.
“I think your translation enchantment is starting to wear out.”
He nodded. “I know, I’ve been meaning to get it looked at.”
“You can open the gift now if you’d like.”
“Oh, is that how people do it in the future?”
“I think it’s how Americans always did it, but you can wait if that’s what you’d prefer.”
Rene chuckled and shook his head. “No. It’s important to remember my Maman is not actually here to smack me on the back of the head for breaking etiquette.” He picked the pouch up and pulled out the dragonscale pendant by the strand, smiling as he saw it. “A fine gift. Thank you very much. Was there an occasion?”
“Just thought of you when I saw it.”
“That is very kind. Thank you.”
John moved from his desk to the chair next to the couch. “So,” he said, “Last week we mainly talked about Esme. Are things still going well with her?” Esme was the dwarven mechanic that Rene had been dating over the last few months. He’d met her at the ‘hourglass courtship’ event that he, John, and Ben had attended together. John had a vague recollection of an attractive dwarven woman in tan overalls who seemed to be wearing more grease than makeup. Not his type, but he could see the appeal for Rene.
Rene frowned a bit, gently moving his teacup. “They are.”
“I’m sensing a ‘but’?”
Rene shook his head. “There’s not really a, ‘but’. She’s a fantastic girl. We have a lot of fun together. She likes hearing me talk about planes and I like hearing her talk about her workshop. She actually… she actually asked if I might consider moving in with her.”
“Wow, that’s a big step.”
“It is.”
John paused to take a sip of his own drink and Rene took a moment to stir in the sugar and honey for his tea before taking a sip himself.
“Is it one that you want to take?” asked John.
Rene paused for a moment, looking into his tea. “Yes, but that scares me.”
“How?”
“It feels like… it feels like if I took this step it would be me giving up. Accepting that I’d never see my family again. That I’ll never return to France. That I’ll never rejoin my brothers on the front.” He shook his head and placed his teacup back on the tray in front of him. “It makes me feel like a coward.”
John looked at him for a moment. “You’ve had some trouble adjusting, but I don’t think you ever shared these particular feelings with me before. You never asked me to add you to the lottery for returners.”
There were a number of otherworlders that wanted to return to Earth, and John would, whenever an item or person was found that could return some of them, draw from the lottery of those that wanted to return and choose one. Sometimes there would be a special case that got priority, but they were rare. Last time it was a three year old who got to jump the line, he was very proud when everyone else unanimously agreed she should get to. Rene had never asked to have his name in the lottery, and it needed to be ahead of time as often the opportunities to go back were short and required the selected person to drop everything and go immediately.
Rene sighed. “I can live here. I have made friends, many of whom are native to this place. If I go back, there’s a chance I’d just get blown out of the sky, or even executed for desertion.”
“But there’s a difference between not actively pursuing a way to go home and actively building a life here.”
Rene nodded.
“If it makes you feel better I can tell you that what you’re feeling isn’t all that different from what everyone feels when they think about moving in with someone.”
“Oh?”
“It’s a big decision that locks you into a new situation. When you take that fig and eat it, you’re deciding not to eat all of the others.”
“Fig?”
“Oh, sorry. ‘The Bell Jar’, came out quite a bit after your time. The point I’m trying to make is that sometimes it can be hard to make a decision because we feel we’re giving up on other possibilities. In your case though, it seems more like you’re in stasis. What will happen if you tell Esme no?”
“She will end our courtship.”
“And the alternative is actively pursuing a return home, which you didn’t sound too enthusiastic about.”
“No, but-”
“But it still would feel like giving up. Really giving up?”
“Oui.”
John nodded. “There’s a third option.”
“Oh?”
“Could you ask Esme for more time to think about it? Explain to her why it’s a hard decision to make?”
He frowned. “To drag out a courtship is… not good.”
“Is it another of those things your maman would hit you on the back of the head for?”
He chuckled. “Yes, it is.”
“I can’t tell you what to do, but you seem to really like this girl and if she’s someone you like then I imagine she’s reasonable and will at least hear your concerns with an open mind.”
“She would. She’s a kind girl.”
“The only thing I would mention is, you yourself said that she’s a fantastic girl right?” asked John.
“Yes, perhaps the most fantastic I’ve ever met.”
“Well, fantastic girls don’t wait around forever. They have their own figs to choose, their own doors to open, and their own lives to live. It sounds like she may give you some extra time, but keep in mind it’s limited.”
Rene nodded as he sipped his tea again. “Oui, you are right mon ami.”
John found himself looking closely at a bright red napkin on his desk, his thumb coming to his mouth where he absentmindedly started to gnaw on his nail.
“Mon ami?”
John shook his head. “Sorry, I was lost in thought for a moment. Was there anything else you wanted to talk about today? How have your things been with trying to get a flying permit from the Department of Magical Verifications?”
“Oh, much better with that help you gave me. I think if I can show them that my plane can make it into the sky then they’ll be willing to grant at least something conditional.”
“That’s great… can you make it into the sky?”
“Well… lets just say it’s another reason I don’t want to lose Esme any time soon.”
John smiled and they spent the rest of the time working their way through Rene’s issues before the session was over. When he led him out to say goodbye and heard him chatting with Andressa as he went back to his desk he found himself absently fingering at the red napkin on his desk as he wrote down his session notes with the other hand. He took a deep breath and shook his head, then tossed the napkin in the trash and went to make some coffee.