Ch 6. Interviews
John watched Gnost walk back to his uncle’s covered wagon. He’d given him a loose umbrella he’d had, and it seemed to be helping him make it to the wagon and crawl into the back without feeling a need to run to it. He caught a glance of the old dwarf driving the wagon. On his face was a look of deep concern. That was good; it would take a strong support system to get through the kind of treatment Gnost needed and concern meant care.
He turned around and walked back through the waiting room to his office, taking just a few moments to tidy up the table and rug that had been shifted by Gnost’s slapdash entrance. Once he was back at his desk he took a sip of his coffee and looked again at the vague notes he’d kept for the secretary interviews that were now less than an hour away. From three separate scraps of paper and his notebook he had three interviews that would be taking up the rest of the day, but he hadn’t taken down names.
He sighed. The issue was almost anyone could do the job of a secretary, but very few people could do it well. Most people in Avalon could read or write, even in other languages, with the right enchantments. They could send and answer messages, manage a schedule, and greet people when they came into the office. Simple tasks that were easy to learn and difficult to master.
As he finished his coffee, he heard the jingle of his front door opening. He stood up from his chair and walked out into the waiting room. The kobold in the room quickly put his hand behind his back and smiled widely at him with sharp teeth. He was wearing a coat over a clean leather jerkin and black pants absolutely covered in pockets. He had a long snout and his forked tongue flicked out to taste the air every few moments, and his scales were a reflective green.
John raised an eyebrow at the fact that so many of the kobold’s pants pockets all seemed to be filled.
“Are you here for the interview?”
He nodded. “Yes yes, I’m Klept Six-fingers.” He held out a three fingered hand.
John took it and gave it a firm shake. “Step into my office,” he turned around and walked inside hearing the sounds of a quick clatter and something being shoved into a pocket.
“Would you like some water? Or tea?”
“Tea please, good good.”
He turned around, hearing the sounds of more items being grabbed and swiftly shoved into pockets. He made the tea slowly and when it was done he handed it to Klept whose pockets had all doubled in size since he’d had his back turned.
Klept took a long sip, and John sat down at his desk, running a finger across a long piece of runic script carved into it.
“So, Klept, you can read and write?”
“Yes yes. Read any language, and write in even more.”
“What made you want to take this job?”
“Like to work with smart, considerate humans.”
John pretended to drop his pen and when he came back up, the teacup Klept had been holding had mysteriously vanished.
“Well, that’s certainly a good and convincing reason that I have no reason to doubt. Have you ever done clerical work before?”
“Have dealt with many clerics, yes yes. Temples have much gold.”
“Sometimes too much, am I right?”
“Yes yes, very.”
There was the sound of someone else entering the waiting room.
“Hmm, that must be the next candidate arriving a bit early. Just a moment.” He went to place his own coffee cup back by the window, activating a rune on it as he walked out, already hearing Klept shove more loose items into his pockets.
In the waiting room was a man wearing gold-colored armor with a sword at his side.
“You having trouble John? Not a gnome family again I hope? Their bites left scars.”
“No no no, nothing so bad as that, Mark. The Redcap family didn’t really need therapy so much as to not be around one another anymore. I have a kobold stealing everything not nailed down in the next room.”
“Oh! That I can handle.”
They stepped into the office to see Klept trying to pry the window open with both of his legs against the wall as he did his best to yank it upward. He looked up to see John standing with the guard.
“No no.”
…
The next interviewee showed up about thirty minutes later, just as John finished placing the last of the items they’d taken from Klept’s pockets back on his desk. He could swear there were still a few things missing, but he couldn’t quite remember exactly what they were.
There was the sound of the door opening, and John went out into the waiting room, seeing a beautiful woman wearing a smart hot pink business suit that was covered in embroidery of flowers, with butterfly wings that reminded him of a Monarch’s, but in blue instead of orange. She didn’t walk toward him so much as glide.
“Hello, I’m Dame Sessily of the Summer Court, daughter of the Duke of Spring. Can I have your name?” She held out a hand as she smiled, her mouth full of sharp teeth.
“You can’t have my name, but you can know it. It’s John Miner.”
Her smile didn’t shift, but did widen as he side stepped her wording. This was normal with the Fey, a lesson he’d learned early thanks to his own early experience with them when he’d first arrived.
They shook hands, and John gestured to his office. “Please come in, have a seat.”
She followed behind him and sat comfortably on the couch.
“Would you care for some tea? I have some collected morning dew that I can use to brew it, I’ve heard the Summer Court favors that?”
“Yes, that would be good.”
John nodded and took a few moments to make her some tea.
“So, what work do you do now?” he asked.
“I’m in… acquisitions,” she said politely as she waited, her wings folded in such a way that they looked almost like some kind of small cape over her dress.
John chuckled a bit and finished the tea, handing it to her.
She took a sip, and a bit of it dribbled down her chin and onto her dress.
“Oh darn! Could you give me your hand?”
“Of c-” He paused for a moment. “I’ll certainly help you with that, " he corrected, glad he caught himself. He grabbed a small handkerchief and handed it to her, but she simply ran a finger along the growing stain on her blouse and it disappeared.
He poured himself some tea as well, he needed to be a bit more caffeinated for this encounter, and sat down across from her.
She produced, from somewhere, a plate of small cookies.
“Would you care for something with your tea,” she picked one up and delicately ate it, her cup of tea floating next to her. She smiled and gave a little moan of satisfaction at the taste of it. They looked delicious and even the smell from them was overpoweringly good. He was certain they were so good in fact, that all other food would turn to ash in his mouth and he would only ever crave eating whatever she gave him.
He sighed, “No thank you, I just had lunch.”
She smiled.
“You can read and write?” he asked.
She nodded. “I’ve had a hand in writing many contracts.”
“And I’m guessing you’ve done clerical work before?”
“Yes, I do so now, in fact.”
John pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers. This was exhausting, but he didn’t want to piss off a high ranking fey by throwing a horseshoe at her, though it was becoming rapidly tempting.
“Well, I think that’s actually all I’ll need from you today. I’ll be in touch.”
She smiled and stood, her wings unfolding as she did.
He walked her to the door, and she paused at the last moment, turning around holding a small slip of paper that seemed to be covered in near microscopic writing. “Could you sign this to validate my parking?”
He stared at her without expression for a few moments, his eyes pointedly looking at her wings.
She laughed as she walked out the door and flew away.
…
John was sipping the end of the morning dew brewed tea he’d made for Sessily when he heard his front door open. He carefully placed his mug down and braced himself as he walked back out into the waiting room. In the room a woman with pale red skin and long horns protruding from her forehead waited in a professional looking black suit with a dark blue shirt and simple black pumps. A demon, obviously, though what kind he couldn’t immediately discern.
“Hi, are you here for the interview?” he asked politely as he stepped out.
“Yes,” she responded with a sharp-fanged smile. “I’m Andressa,” she held out a hand.
“John,” he said, taking her hand, she grabbed his hand just a little too soon and shook his fingers before letting them go.
He retrieved his hand and pushed the door open wider. “Please, come in.”
She grabbed the edge of the door and gestured for him to walk ahead of her. He did so awkwardly and moved toward his collection of teas.
“Can I get you some water, or tea?”
She moved over to his desk and sat in his chair. “Tea would be nice. Do you have any silverleaf?”
He did have silverleaf. At home. In an unopened tin. That type of tea was the most expensive kind he’d ever encountered and what little he had was a princely gift he’d received from a good friend. He was starting to get an idea of what kind of demon she was.
“I’m afraid I don’t have any on hand. How about some moonpetal? I hear the tastes are similar.”
She shrugged noncommittally and he took a few moments to start the tea before sitting directly on his desk right in front of her.
“Listen, I’ve already had two very annoying interviews today, so let’s cut straight to the important questions.”
“Could we wait for the tea first?” she asked with a smile.
“No. Can you read and write?”
“Yes.”
“Have you done clerical work before?”
“Yes.”
“Are you a succubus that feeds on anxiety and discomfort that’s hoping for an easy place to feed?”
She blinked a few times. “Good guess.”
“Does your feeding actively harm anyone, or do you just eat what they give off naturally?”
“The latter, though sometimes I like to provoke a larger response to feed a bit better.”
“I hadn’t noticed,” responded John with a raised eyebrow. He turned to go and poured their tea. He gently placed hers on the desk in front of her, placing a small jar of honey next to it in case she wanted to sweeten it a bit.
She swirled it up a bit then drank it scalding hot with no reaction. He found himself a bit titillated by that, but kept his face impassive.
“Would you be able to resist provoking them while you worked here?”
“Probably.”
John drummed his fingers on the desk for a moment and sighed as he remembered the others that had applied so far.
“You’re hired,” he said, taking a sip from his own tea after blowing across the top of it.
Her eyes widened a bit. “Really?”
“As long as you don’t bother my clients you can work here and feed as much as they give off naturally… given my typical clients I think you’ll be very well fed.”
“Can I bother you?” she asked with a smile.
“If you help me manage my schedule and clients well, then you can bother me all you want.”
She smiled as he said that and he wondered for a moment if he’d just made a terrible mistake.