Ch 33. Loop
John took a long sip of his coffee and sighed, raising an eyebrow when he realized there was a blue lipstick stain around the edge of it. He chuckled as he took a handkerchief and wiped his mouth and the mug. The kiss Andressa had given him when he’d handed her the bag from the bakery. Of course she wouldn’t have told him that he was wearing half of her lipstick, where would be the fun in that?
They’d been dating for two weeks now, and it was going well. He still had some lingering anxiety about it, but it had gotten to the point that denying their attraction to one another was becoming ridiculous. There had been only two formal dates, but they’d spent a lot of time together outside of that, even some time at his apartment that had thoroughly convinced him he needed a real bed rather than a hammock.
As he began remembering their last visit to his bedroom with a stupid smile on his face he heard the front door to the waiting room open, followed by a quick and muffled exchange and his door barging open. A young man wearing what appeared to be Victorian formalwear stepped into his office. He had dark, nearly black eyes, and soft brown wavy hair. In spite of his barging in and dodging a grab from Andressa’s tail he looked distinctly bored.
Andressa reached for his shoulder, “you don’t have an appointment...”
Without looking he lightly dodged to the side, making Andressa’s brow furrow.
“And who might you be?”
“And who might you be?”
He asked the question at the same time that John did before deftly lifting a foot before Andressa’s tail could wrap around his ankle to trip him.
The man squinted at John. “Huh, you got the lipstick off this time. I wonder what I did that caused that to be different this time.”
“Andressa, it’s okay, though I appreciate it.”
She frowned, seemingly feeling a little defensive as her tail flicked back and forth in irritation, but she nodded at him and left, closing the door with just a bit more force than was totally necessary.
“So, I’m guessing you’re a-” started John before he was interrupted.
“Time-looper, yes.”
“And have yo-”
“Yes I have already searched out and confirmed that it’s not because of a curse, a spell, an act of god, a deal with a devil or anything else like that. I am the only one who is in this loop, I can confirm that because I’ve asked everyone in Avalon. Yes, everyone. I and you have both decided that whatever it is that has me trapped in this loop is related to my psychology rather than anything else. I thought originally it was because I had to finish my project within the day, but at this point I’ve managed to complete it several hundred times and made it more than perfect so I’ve concluded that that’s not it.”
John waited a moment.
“The project was a clockwork golem. I didn’t finish him this time. Last time I was here you said you thought you knew what the cause was, but then the loop reset before you could tell me.”
“And-”
“I’ve seen you thirty two times by now. Yes we’ve already discussed my work, my relationships, particularly those with my mother and father. We’ve done in depth looks into how I handle my work and who I choose to spend my time with. We’ve even done dream analysis and at least on two separate occasions you helped me to get my golem citizenship at the Department of Magical Verifications… Thanks for that by the way, I’m always anxious when I go alone. Or at least I used to be.”
“Okay, what about-”
“No the clockwork part of the golem doesn’t seem to be involved at least not directly.”
“What’s-”
“I told you already I don’t think it has anything to do with completing something I’ve left undone or helping someone I ignored. I verified that when I thought it may have been a curse.”
“And-”
“I lost count around the low thousands.”
John took a long breath. “You will allow me to ask one question.”
The man nodded, sitting on the couch and taking off his tophat.
“Your name?”
The man deflated a bit. “Morne. Dugan Morne. I guess I should’ve guessed you’d ask that as well. I do want some tea as well if it’s not an imposition.”
John nodded, not wanting to try and speak and get interrupted again. He made the tea quickly and poured Dugan a cup before returning to his coffee.
“So, Dugan, I’m sure you know what I’m about to say, but could you go ahead and go through what it was we were talking about before you looped last time?”
The time looper forced himself to take a breath and a sip of tea.
“I was telling you about all of the things I’d tried, and you were having me go through the day it started again in detail.”
“Sounds reasonable enough. How’s your memory doing? You’ve lived several years on this loop it sounds like.”
���It’s still good, as is my patience. I’m guessing there’s something actively keeping my mind from breaking down from the stress.”
John nodded. That made sense to him.
“Okay then, go through that first day for me.”
He nodded. “It was a normal day. I got up around three in the morning. I took a five-minute cold shower in order to bolster myself and get my blood pumping so that I could focus. I then took three caffeine pills to wake up and quickly ate a breakfast of oatmeal followed by a single fried egg. After that it was immediately into the workshop.”
John managed to keep his expression from turning into something pained, but what Dugan was describing sounded like torture.
“Once in the workshop I continued work on golem ninety-nine C. The first day I wasn’t able to finish him even though I worked until nearly midnight. I then went to sleep, and when I woke up I didn’t even realize it was the same day until I got back to the golem. All of the work I’d put in the previous day had been undone.”
“Is this pace of work normal for you?” asked John. “Do you always work that many hours without rest?”
“I have a lot of things to do, and only so much time on this plane to get them done.”
John frowned. “So you’ve been spending every single day looking for a way to break the loop?”
“Without rest.”
John frowned. “I think I know what conclusion I came to last time.”
“Oh?” Asked Dugan, leaning forward.
“Mr. Morne, I believe that you need to rest. It sounds like you were pushing yourself to the physical and mental breaking point before your loop began. I admire your work ethic and effort, but everyone needs rest sometimes. From what I can tell, it’s also the one thing you haven’t tried even once so far.”
Dugan took a long sip of his tea and shook his head. “That’s disappointing.”
“Having to rest?”
“No, that I wasted a day coming here thinking that the insight or revelation you’d had last loop would be what breaks me out of here.” He put his tea down onto the tray and stood up, retrieving his hat and brushing the wrinkles from his coat. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I may have a bit of time left in the day to talk to the fey or another crossroad demon about potential solutions.”
John sighed. “Well, I’m sorry you feel I didn’t help you, but why not give my suggestion a try at least? You just said yourself that most of today is wasted already anyway. Why not head home and try and get a good night's sleep? Read a good book? Check in on a friend? You seem like a scientific man, you could at least cross it off as a possibility.”
He shook his head. “I won’t waste time like that.”
John shook his head. “I feel like maybe if we’ve talked about your parents in the past what you’re saying might have something to do with them.”
“I… No. Goodbye,” said Dugan before walking out the office door, tipping his hat to Andressa as he walked out onto the street.
John walked over to Andressa’s desk and leaned against it, shaking his head.
“Were you able to help him?” she asked, her annoyance at the man barging in seeming to have softened to concern.
“I hope so. Says he’s stuck in a timeloop. I think he needs to take a cycle to rest, but he had a different opinion.”
“Hmm, a timeloop. Sounds like we should cancel all your remaining appointments and I can see how I like that new bed you told me you bought.”
“Very tempting, but I’m hopeful that he’ll break the cycle this time, and I want to make sure Gnost is doing okay. He didn’t pick up his potions last week. Also the bed hasn’t been delivered yet.”
“Fine then, I can save that for later. We should eat something fatty and terrible for lunch though.”
John nodded. “Yes… yes we should.”