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A $50,000 Bounty on My Head, and Every Hitman Who Came to Kill Me Became My Client.

by Yuanyi Qi

Volume 1

Chapter 1: The $50,000 Typo

10 min read•Published Nov 14, 2026

  My head was only worth fifty grand on the dark web. I took that as a personal insult—right until the hitman who broke into my kitchen to collect it ended up with an eighty-thousand-dollar bounty on his own neck.

  If you’re going to murder me before I’ve had my coffee, at least have the decency to charge six figures.

  It was 8:14 AM on a rainy Bellport Monday. I was standing by the sink in my moldy first-floor apartment, scraping burnt eggs off a thrift-store pan, when my burner phone buzzed against the Formica counter.

  I don’t use that phone for family, mostly because I don’t have any. I use it to monitor The Counter—a private underground brokerage board where high-end fixers post cash bounties and verify kills. Usually, I just lurk in the public noise, looking for overlaps with my day job. For the last seventeen years, I’ve worked fugitive recovery for Quinn Bail Bonds. When a meth dealer skips out on a ten-thousand-dollar court bond, Rae Quinn fronts me gas money, hands me a three-ply carbon-copy surrender slip, and pays me ten percent to drag the bastard back in zip-ties.

  I tapped the cracked screen, expecting to see a skip-trace on a local cartel bookie.

  Instead, I saw my own driver’s license photo staring back at me.

  TARGET: Jack Mercer. Age: 41. Occupation: Bail Enforcement.   PAYOUT: $50,000 (Verified Termination Only).   FILE ACCESS: Restricted. Enter October 2009 Bellport Sub-Contract Code to unlock target address and vehicle plates.

  I blinked at the screen. The eggs went cold in the pan.

  Fifty thousand dollars. Dead only. I drive a rusted Ford with two hundred thousand miles on the odometer, my knees ache when the barometer drops, and my net worth is currently hovering around four hundred bucks and a half-tank of regular unleaded. Nobody pays fifty grand to liquidate a guy who clips coupons for motor oil.

  And what the hell was an October 2009 Bellport Sub-Contract Code?

  In October 2009, I was twenty-four years old, fresh off the street, working my very first week for Rae Quinn. I only ran one job that entire month: a six-hundred-dollar commission to pick up an accountant named Evelyn Wren who’d supposedly jumped bail in the next county.

  Before I could scroll down to the broker’s escrow stamp, the floorboards outside my apartment’s back laundry door gave a soft, damp creak.

  An amateur looks at the doorknob. A guy who has spent seventeen years kicking in doors and pulling armed felons out of drywall looks at the half-inch gap at the bottom of the frame.

  Two boots. Matte black tactical leather. No mud on the soles, which meant he hadn't walked through the alley—he’d come over the neighbor's porch roof. The shadow didn't sway. His weight was balanced squarely on the balls of his feet, waiting for the refrigerator compressor to kick on and mask the sound of a lock pick.

  Professional.

  I didn’t reach for a gun. My nine-millimeter was locked in the glovebox of my Ford outside, because Bellport PD loves revoking bail licenses over firearm storage violations, and frankly, I’m a terrible shot anyway.

  Instead, I looked at what I had within arm’s reach: a chipped ceramic mug, a thrifted microwave with a dying magnetron, and a fifteen-pound hardened-steel wheel boot sitting by the radiator—the kind I clamp onto a fugitive’s tire so they can’t drive away while I’m picking their front door.

  The brass lock cylinder clicked once.

  I didn't duck for cover. I reached over, punched two minutes onto the empty microwave, hit Start, and dropped into a crouch behind the stove.

  The microwave’s broken magnetron let out an ear-splitting, metallic shriek—like a chainsaw chewing through a mailbox.

  At the exact same second, the laundry door swung inward.

  A guy in his early forties glided into my kitchen. Dark windbreaker, thin nitrile gloves, a suppressed Heckler & Koch pistol held tight to his ribs in a textbook close-quarters stance. He swept the sink first, ready to put two subsonic rounds into the back of my skull.

  Then the shrieking microwave yanked his eyes two inches to the left.

  In my line of work, two inches is a four-lane highway.

  I lunged up from behind the stove, swinging all fifteen pounds of the steel wheel boot in a short, ugly arc.

  The steel claw caught him square across the right collarbone.

  It sounded like somebody snapping a frozen broomstick over their knee. The killer grunted—a sharp, wet sound—as his right arm went completely dead. His finger spasmed on the trigger. The suppressor coughed phut-phut, blowing the glass door off my microwave and showering us both in sparks and pulverized drywall.

  A shard of safety glass sliced across my left knuckles. I ignored the sting, stepped inside his reach before he could switch the gun to his left hand, and drove the heel of my boot straight down onto his kneecap.

  He hit the greasy linoleum hard. I dropped my knee onto the back of his neck, kicked the suppressed pistol under the fridge, and yanked two heavy-duty nylon zip-ties from my belt. Three seconds later, his thumbs were strapped together behind his back. Five seconds after that, I had the fifteen-pound steel wheel boot clamped around his left ankle and ratcheted tight to the cast-iron radiator pipe.

  Total elapsed time: twelve seconds.

  Collateral damage: one twelve-dollar microwave and a bleeding knuckle.

  I stood up, breathing hard, and sucked the blood off my hand while the hitman writhed on my floor, gasping for air through clenched teeth.

  "You..." he wheezed, his face turning the color of wet cement as he stared at the yellow steel claw locked around his ankle. "You just booted me to a fucking radiator?"

  "Standard fugitive recovery procedure," I panted, leaning against the counter. "Though usually, my clients are driving a '98 Honda Civic, not carrying a suppressed German nine-millimeter. Keep thrashing and you’ll pull the pipe out of the wall. The landlord will take it out of my deposit, and I’ll take it out of your teeth."

  I crouched down and patted his pockets, keeping my eyes on his left hand. No backup blade. Just a leather wallet, a set of car keys, and a heavily modified black smartphone with an encrypted proxy shell.

  I flipped open the wallet. "Victor Danner. Forty-two. Owner of Danner’s Auto Detailing out on Route 9. Look at that—a picture of you and a ten-year-old kid holding a bass at Lake Miller. Nice family man." I pulled four crisp hundred-dollar bills out of the billfold and tucked them into my shirt pocket. "That’s fifty for the microwave, fifty for the drywall, and three hundred for making me spill my eggs."

  "Go to hell, Mercer," Vic spat, a thread of red saliva hitting the linoleum. "You think that zip-tie is gonna save you? That fifty-grand contract went up twenty minutes ago. By noon, every shooter who worked the October 2009 batch is gonna be lining up in your alley."

  I stopped rifling through his wallet. The humor drained out of the kitchen, leaving only the smell of ozone from the dead microwave.

  "Yeah, let’s talk about October 2009," I said quietly, tapping his encrypted phone against my knee. "Because the only thing I did that month was pick up a bail jumper named Evelyn Wren near the Sunset Motel on Route 17, hand her over to a private escort named R. Cross, and pocket six hundred bucks. Why is somebody paying fifty thousand dollars to kill me seventeen years later?"

  Vic stopped pulling against the radiator. He looked up at me, and for the first time since he came through my door, he didn't look angry. He looked confused.

  "Wait," Vic rasped. "You're the skip-tracer? The kid who brought the woman to the gas station at 6:42 PM?"

  "How do you know what time I signed the receipt?"

  "Because at 9:15 PM, the Sunset Motel burned to the ground with nine federal witnesses locked inside, you idiot!" Vic barked a harsh, ragged laugh. "You didn't arrest a bail jumper. You delivered the whistleblower who started the whole damn war!"

  My stomach dropped three inches.

  I remembered the Sunset Motel. I remembered a terrified woman begging me not to check under the bed. And I remembered two tiny shoes sticking out from beneath the dust ruffle—one red, one blue, with an untied lace—right before I wrote No other occupants found on my yellow carbon copy and left the side door unlocked.

  Before I could grab Vic by the throat, the encrypted phone in my hand chimed.

  It wasn't a text message. It was a system-wide push alert from The Counter.

  The screen lit up with a red priority banner. A brand-new contract had just bypassed the restricted board and gone live to every freelance shooter in the tri-state area.

  I stared at the screen. Then I slowly turned it around so Vic could see it.

  TARGET: Victor Danner (2009 Code Verified).   PAYOUT: $80,000 — Immediate Cash Escrow.   STATUS: Active / Termination Within 3 Hours.

  Vic’s jaw went slack. Every drop of blood vanished from his face. "No. No, that’s a glitch. I didn't even fail the contract yet—nobody knows I took the job!"

  "The board doesn't have GPS, Vic," I said softly, the cold mechanics of the trap snapping together in my head. "Tell me how you got my address this morning."

  "I... I saw your name on the board," Vic stammered, his eyes wide and glassy. "The file was locked. To open the address packet, I had to punch in my old 2009 payout code from the Sunset Motel job to prove I was part of the crew..."

  "A verification receipt," I whispered.

  I stood up, walked to the front window, and used two fingers to tilt a dusty aluminum blind.

  "My fifty-grand bounty wasn't a contract, Vic," I said, looking out at the rain-slicked street. "Somebody from 2009 wants the old crew dead, or somebody wants them dragged into the light. And since I’m the only idiot from that night who never changed his name or left Bellport, they used me as the bait."

  "Then who put the eighty grand on me?!" Vic yelled, yanking so hard on the wheel boot that the cast-iron radiator groaned against the floorboards.

  "Player Two," I said. "Whoever paid your sub-contract in 2009 is still monitoring the old clearinghouse server. The second you typed in your 2009 code to unlock my address, you pinged her ledger. She’s not hunting me, Vic. She’s cleaning out everyone who logs in."

  Out on the street, a black Mercedes SUV with blacked-out windows slid to the curb, double-parking directly behind my rusted Ford.

  The rain beat down on the hood. All four doors opened at once. Four men in tailored charcoal overcoats stepped out onto the wet asphalt, moving with the quiet, synchronized efficiency of a surgical team. None of them looked at my car. They looked straight at the blue sedan parked across the street—Vic Danner’s car.

  One of them reached under his coat and racked the bolt on a suppressed MP5.

  "Mercer!" Vic’s voice cracked into a high, desperate shriek from the kitchen floor. "They’re Cleaners! Uncuff me! For God’s sake, unlock the boot, they’re gonna kill us both!"

  I let the blind snap shut, reached into the hall closet, and pulled out a heavy steel crowbar and my car keys.

  "Relax, Vic," I said, checking the street reflection in the broken glass of my microwave. "Professional hitmen only have one fatal allergy—and she drives a state department cruiser three blocks from here."

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